Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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First of all, that little boy loves you. And second of all, just cause your wife decides she doesn't want to sleep with men, it doesn't make you a bad husband, though I wouldn't brag about it.

Charlie [to Alan]

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Charlie Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Jake: Uncle Charlie hasn't met Porky yet!
Charlie: I don't suppose that's a Rubenesque nineteen-year-old girl?
Alan: Porky's his pet guinea pig.
Charlie: You're bringing vermin into my house?

I don't even know how my wife is going to be a lesbian. She hates oral sex—hates it