Hey, where've you been? I had another date. You know, I'm gl...
Brian: Hey, where've you been?
Peter: I had another date.
Brian: You know, I'm glad you're finally putting yourself out there. Lois would have wanted you to move on.
Peter: Yeah, only this one was kind of awkward. My date was a stick figure.
(scene cuts to restaurant)
Peter: So...I...how would this work...in bed?
Stick Figure: Well, I can't do sex, but I can give you a stick job.
Peter: That, uh, that sounds-
Stick Figure: Yes, it is very unpleasant.
(cuts back to house)
Peter: But the freakiest was that date I had with Bonnie.
(Scene cuts to the Swanson bedroom)
Bonnie: Peter, you don't know how bad I want this.
Peter: I don't know Bonnie, it's just a little weird, Joe's a friend of mine.
Bonnie: No, it's okay, I promise you, it's okay.
Peter: Ehh, I'm not sure.
Joe: It's okay Peter.
Quagmire: That fat bastard murdered Lois! That son of a bitch; he's a killer like Bernie Getz! You know, the killer from the eighties. I used to do a bit on him back when I did stand-up.
(Flashback to a younger Quagmire on a stage)
Quagmire: Ah, what else is in the news? Oh, oh Bernie Getz. D-Did you hear this? This guy Bernie Getz shot a bunch of muggers on the subway. Wouldn't mind having him when I go see my mother in law. (Microphone whines) No, but really, New York City's a great place to live...if you're a COCKROACH!
Man in Audience: You suck!!
Quagmire: (Sadly) I know.
- Permalink: That fat bastard murdered Lois! That son of a bitch; he's a kill...
Brian: Great. This is even a bigger waist of time then Ringo's songwriting.
(Cuts to a scene with Paul McCartney, George Harrison and John Lennon in a recording studio when Ringo Starr enters)
Ringo: Hey guys I wrote a song!
Paul: Oh thats great!
John: Oh good Ringo!
Paul: (Takes the song) You know what? I'm gonna put it right here. (hangs it up on a refrigerator) Right on the refrigerator. That way we'll get to see it everyday.
Ringo: All right!
- Permalink: Great. This is even a bigger waist of time then Ringo's songwrit...