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Angie: How do you like being a father, Alan?
Alan: Ah...well, ya know, I'd have to say it's wonderfully rewarding and more than a little challenging. Jake's kind of a diamond-in-the-rough.
Charlie: Jake's kind of a turd in the punch bowl.
Angie: Charlie! That is no way to talk about a child!
Charlie: He's not a child; he's a post-pubescent tapeworm with a bad haircut.