Alan: Are you still reading that thing? Charlie: How can I not? It's an entire website devoted to trashing me! Listen to this: "Has anybody had sex with Charlie where he actually bothered to take his socks off?" It's just mean! I have bad circulation in my feet -- they get cold!
Charlie: Please tell me the Jack and Ginger isn't for you. Gail: No, it's for my girlfriend. Why? Charlie: Well, you look like a woman of discriminating taste, and mixing a quality bourbon with ginger ale is like putting Cheez Whiz on Lobster Newberg.