Alan: Is this lifestyle actually making you happy?
Charlie: Let me answer that question with another question. Who would you rather be, you or me?
Alan: You're kidding, right? You have two black eyes, and you're perched on a scrotum cozy... You.


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Characters:
Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 15: "Rough Night in Hump Junction"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 15 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 15 Quotes

Mia: Charlie, what are you doing here?
Charlie: I came to get you back.
Mia: Are you out of your mind?
Charlie: Well... I got the idea from my shrink.

Charlie: I learned why I screw around so much.
Alan: Really?
Charlie: Yup... I think I've spent my whole life trying to fill the empty space in myself by, you know...
Alan: ...filling the empty space in others?