Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
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Quagmire: Joe, your 25-year-old son and your baby daughter share a room just so you can keep a weirdo Beautiful Mind room? Isn't that a little bizarre?
Kevin Swanson: And then we the dug the bullets out of that Iraqi family's skulls so they couldn't be traced back to us.
Susie Swanson: [thinking in Patrick Stewart's voice] Today, I saw the moon!


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Glenn Quagmire Quotes, Joe Swanson Quotes, Family Guy Season 11 Episode 5 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 11 Episode 5 Quotes

Quagmire: Wait a minute, Bobby Briggs is the one who crippled you? You always told us you fell off a roof during a fight with the Grinch.
Joe: ...I lied.

A police spokesperson was quoted as saying "Duh, I'm a dumb cop, I like to give Tom Tucker a ticket." I was going like 41.

Tom Tucker