The good news is that now he can go back to being a regular kid.

Brian

• Permalink: The good news is that now he can go back to being a regular kid.
• Rating: Unrated

Spending the day with him is going to be worse than eating at a ballpark.

Peter

• Permalink: Spending the day with him is going to be worse than eating at a ballpark.
• Rating: Unrated

Not everyone can be as fascinating as you, Brian.

Stewie

• Permalink: Not everyone can be as fascinating as you, Brian.
• Rating: Unrated

I got to email that to Babs. She hates people.

Carter

• Permalink: I got to email that to Babs. She hates people.
• Rating: Unrated

Carter: So that money's just been Josh Hartnetted?
Peter: What's that?
Carter: Gone, disappeared, never to be heard from again.

• Permalink: Gone, disappeared, never to be heard from again.
• Rating: Unrated

Carter; Tear it all down. Now. Or I'm cancelling Kwanzaa.
Warlord: What is Kwanzaa?
Carter: Ha! I knew it wasn't real.

• Permalink: Ha! I knew it wasn't real.
• Rating: Unrated

It's true. Even at the speed of light, mean-spirited thoughts from the stars can take thousands or even millions of years to reach the earth. Hamburger.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

• Permalink: It's true. Even at the speed of light, mean-spirited thoughts from the stars can take...
• Rating: Unrated

Now all I need is a group photo of me kneeling in front of the village so I can brag about what a good person I am.

Peter

• Permalink: Now all I need is a group photo of me kneeling in front of the village so I can brag about...
• Rating: Unrated

Oh, yeah. Black guys put hot sauce on everything on account most of us have been pepper-sprayed by the time we're two.

Cleveland

• Permalink: Oh, yeah. Black guys put hot sauce on everything on account most of us have been...
• Rating: Unrated

I can get people to pay me 10 bucks just for doing stupid stuff?

Peter

• Permalink: I can get people to pay me 10 bucks just for doing stupid stuff?
• Rating: Unrated

What do people do who don't drink?

Peter

• Permalink: What do people do who don't drink?
• Rating: Unrated

If there's one thing the new drinking age has done, it's to let us know that women tell terrible stories.

Tom Tucker

• Permalink: If there's one thing the new drinking age has done, it's to let us know that women tell...
• Rating: Unrated