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Brian: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo?
Chris: Or too late?
- Permalink: Don't you think it's too soon for a play about Terri Schiavo? ...
I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.Lois
- Permalink: I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.
A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which ... begins with the letter T.Stewie
- Permalink: A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transves...
Julie: I'm not a lesbian.
Stewie [as Karina]: I'm not either.
Brian: What are you exactly?
- Permalink: I'm not a lesbian. I'm not either. What are you exactly?
Stewie: I think I'm in love with Julie. Whenever I talk to her, it makes my bandaid start to peel off.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Stewie: I'm talking about the thing. I gotta hide it for the cameras. Instead of tucking, I just push it in like a button and put a bandaid over it.
Brian: What kind of bandaid?
Stewie: A big one, big giant one. Nah, just one of those dots you put on a shot.
- Permalink: I think I'm in love with Julie. Whenever I talk to her, it make...
Peter: She ain't what she used to be. Once you get those pants off it's like two sagging breast hams and a slice of pizza.
Lois: Thank you, Peter, that makes me feel terrific.
- Permalink: She ain't what she used to be. Once you get those pants off it'...
Peter: Lois, you have a gray hair.
Peter: Inch and a half left of your part.
Lois: Oh my god, you're right.
Peter: You know I don't mind so much that you're aging, it's just the way you're shoving it down my throat.
Lois: Screw you Peter.
Peter: Wow, not today.
- Permalink: Lois, you have a gray hair. What? Inch and a half left of yo...
Peter: Does he have maybe a thinner, hotter daughter?
Joe: Well, yes, but she's only 12.
Peter: Like a young 12 or a "she eats a lot of milk product so she got her boos early" 12? Which is a real thing by the way.
- Permalink: Does he have maybe a thinner, hotter daughter? Well, yes, but ...
Peter: I beleive I am psyhic. My first prediction is that i'm either going to fly or ruin that family's picnic!
[runs and tries to fly, crashing on family's picnic]
Woman: Hey you ruined our picnic!
- Permalink: I beleive I am psyhic. My first prediction is that i'm either g...
Brian: I'm going to prove to you that there is no such thing as someone that is psychic and that with the most minimal training and the right set of buzz words, anyone can appear to be psychic, even a complete boob like Peter. Watch this.
Peter: Excuse me, ma'am. I'm psychic and I'm getting a strong feeling from you. Do you have a watch or clock that no longer works?
Woman: Wow. I used to have a watch that broke!
Brian: You see just by asking very general questions that would apply to most people, a person can appear to have inside knowledge about you.
Peter: I'm also sensing that you have a dead relative.
Woman: My husband died of cancer last year.
Peter: Oh my god, awesome. I'm sensing some other bad stuff.
Woman: My daughter was just in an accident.
Peter: Sweet! High five!
Woman: You're awful.
Peter: You don't want to hear the truth, don't come to the park.
- Permalink: I'm going to prove to you that there is no such thing as someone...
And her hugs are so delighting. What makes them nice is that they got a little spice is that they're tighter than a vice and they go on for an hour.Stewie [in song]
- Permalink: And her hugs are so delighting. What makes them nice is that th...
I'm guessing this one owned a bunny, but not anymore.Stewie
- Permalink: I'm guessing this one owned a bunny, but not anymore.