I don't understand why, if we're a galaxy far far away, we still have to change in Atlanta.

Stewie

Rush Limbaugh: Limbaugh Rule #1: No tax dodging Jedis in my pit!
Chris: Religion is tax exempt! Jedi's a religion!

Chris: A sister! Who is it?
Herbert: Who do you think it is? Who's the only goddamn woman in the galaxy?
Chris: Leia...

Peter: Hey, check it out! It's another chick! The only other chick in the galaxy!
Lois: I don't like her.

Mort: Am I the only one with a gold star on their uniform?
Klaus: It's just for record-keeping. Ok let's go!

Come by and apply for a Han job and I'll get you off and running! Other websites jerk you around and don't finish what they started but Han job will have you shooting for the stars!

Peter

By the way, I think you're about to start your period. That's how I found you.

Tim

Peter: Whoa, what the hell are these? Hamsters?
Quagmire: They're adorable!

Peter: Who braided your hair? Did the Ewoks braid your hair? So they use spears with wooden tips but understand the finer points of cosmetology?
Lois: I know...it's not as good as Empire.

I'm from Alderaan. It's kind of the Mississippi of the galaxy.

Lois

Now listen. Since your mom's out of town and I've got you for the weekend, I was thinking it would be kinda fun if the Emperor and I turned you over to the dark side of the Force!

Stewie

Join us, Luke. Turn to the backside of the Force.

Stewie

Family Guy Season 9 Quotes

Peter: I'm making my own Red Bull! Lois can't stop me from experiencing the manic highs and lows my body demands.
Brian: Whoa, whoa you're adding kerosene? That's insane! That'll destroy your body, Peter!
Peter: Kerosene is fuel, Brian. Red Bull is fuel. Kerosene is Red Bull...
Brian: That drink will kill you, Peter.
Peter: Whatever kills me will make me stronger.

Ooh! Mr. Sulu show! (singing) Mr. Sulu the star of the show...other guys just along for the ride...

Mr. Washee-Washee