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Family-guy

Frenchman: My intention is to void myself on you.
Bonnie: Ohh, I'd almost forgotten what it's like to be romanced.
Frenchman: My stool will sleep alone tonight.

Lois, I already told you, I'm in Paris to have an affair. I'll even do a Muslim if I have to.

Bonnie

Well, can we at least do some Muppet-style sight-seeing first?

Lois

Lois: Not a lot of people of color here but the ones that are black are really black.
Bonnie: I noticed that.

Quagmire: So, do you guys not do the anal probe thing anymore?
Alien: No, that's more of less been retired.
Quagmire: I see, I see...do you guys still have the thing?

Joe hates to fly because they always put him underneath with the dogs

Bonnie

Brian: Stewie, what the hell happened?
Stewie: Oh well, shortly after you left, da Vinci's girlfriend showed up. So I injected her with my DNA.
Brian: You had sex?
Stewie: No, I put my DNA inside of her.
Brian: Right, you had sex.
Stewie: No, what are you not getting? I put a sample of my DNa in a syringe and I injected her on the staircase, on the couch, and on the balcony.

Brian: Stewie! Stewie! Are you ok?
Stewie: (falsetto) You gotta kiss him to wake him up.
Brian: I'm not going to kiss you!
Stewie: Stewie can't hear you. He's not awake. Only a kiss will wake him up!
Brian: Well, I better get Meg.
Stewie: Oh, oh where am I?

Brian: Oh my god!
Priest: Ahem, a tip is customary.

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