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Family-guy

Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.

Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!

I always wanted a brother or a sister. Instead, I got a broster.

Peter

Does Jillian know you're half-Polish, Mr. Quagleczech?

Brian

Brian: So how did you two meet?
Jillian: Quagmire showed up at my door and said he was the federal boob inspector! And I was going to tell him to go away, but he had a warrant!
Quagmire: It was a snickers wrapper, Brian. I held up a Snickers wrapper.

You just think you know everything don't you? You're just like a black woman in hindsight.

Brian

Call me the "Paw." That's what I go by now.

Brian

Brian: Good morning everyone!
Lois: Ah crap, he's in love again.

Ooh! Mr. Sulu show! (singing) Mr. Sulu the star of the show...other guys just along for the ride...

Mr. Washee-Washee
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