Family Guy

Family Guy Season 9 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 9 Episode 9: "And I'm Joyce Kinney"

Lois: I think there was actually more wind back then.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Oh my god! I thought we were friends! The kind of really good
friends that communicate with each other poorly through Facebook!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: No, you're a lady bigshot... like Miss Piggy!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie [as he spots a baby] : BILF! Total BILF! Yeah, it's going
totally good... I got about six pacifiers now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois [as Stewie aims a blaster at her]: Well, let me just say, it's
nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.
Stewie: Yea, no you're fine...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 9 Episode 8: "New Kidney in Town"

Brian: Lois, I only ask this because of the dire situation I'm in. But can I hump your legs for 15 uninterrupted seconds?
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Brian: Meg, you're so beautiful on the inside... but it's important that you know your limitations.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Let's go find a big, black, sassy, nurse. There's always one
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Hartman: Well, stranger things have happened in medicine. I once tried to clone a chicken and it ended up being a man-sized chicken that was extremely hostile and escaped from the lab.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Quagmire: It's kinda weird that 80's white clothes could pass for 90's white clothes...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brian: Ah, it's a period joke!
Peter: Ah, it's a period period joke!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: I'm making my own Red Bull! Lois can't stop me from experiencing the manic highs and lows my body demands.
Brian: Whoa, whoa you're adding kerosene? That's insane! That'll destroy your body, Peter!
Peter: Kerosene is fuel, Brian. Red Bull is fuel. Kerosene is Red Bull...
Brian: That drink will kill you, Peter.
Peter: Whatever kills me will make me stronger.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?
 • Rating: Unrated

Meg: It's not something you learn, it's something that's inside of you, like the ability to choose to be gay.
Chris: I don't think they choose that...
Meg: Oh trust me, they choose that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 9 Episode 7: "Road To The North Pole"

Santa: I'll be with Allah soon...
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Santa: You ever try to make an iPod?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stewie: Oh interesting, interesting theory Brian. Are you going to tell me Elmo isn't real? Are you going to tell me Spongebob isn't real? And Curious George?
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Pooh: Why do you have such a negative attitude?
Eeyore: Because I've got a nail in my ass.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Stewie: No one vomits at the North Pole, except for Santa's wife, because she has an eating disorder!
 • Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Stewie: Brian, why does the North Pole have black teenagers?
Brian: Um, uh, from Katrina?
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

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