Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Are you sure it wasn't a monkey standing on another monkey's shoulders wearing a trench coat?

Ted

People like being lied to. They just don't like finding out they've been lied to.

Barney

Barney: Did the robber have five o'clock shadow and a ski cap?
Marshall: Yes, because I was robbed in 1947 at the corner of Abbott and Costello.

I'll believe Jack Palance is dead when I see the body.

Barney

People want the lie. They need the lie!

Barney

Marshall, there's a cartoon of you on our coupon.

Pizza Guy

Fun fact. Each year my mom has Easter tea with her friend named Bunny. Okay not that fun.

Robin

Do I get a vote? Skank lane! Skank lane!

Barney

Who wants a party hat? Look I'm a bird! Let's all be birds!

Marshall
Displaying quotes 82 - 90 of 267 in total