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Marshall: Please, I don't have any baggage.
Lily: Mommy issues.
Marshall: No.
Lily: Grandmother issues.
Marshall: Nah.
Lily: Great-grandmother issues.
Marshall: I just don't like when she picks me up!

You are so sweet sweet, sweet [Marshall leaves, turns to Robin] Sweet mother of God he's annoying sometimes.


Ted: Things are going great, but ...
Robin: Ah ...
Ted: That's the issue.
Barney: Her butt?
Ted: No. Everyone has baggage. Things go great until the point where you realize everything's ruined.
Barney: When she turns 30.

Ted, please. It's not that big a deal. I've been left at the altar before too. Three times in fact.


Barney: Kiss him! Kiss him!
Older Ted: Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss."
Theater employee: Sir, you need to leave. Now.
Barney: This is outrageous. Who the kiss are you?!

Marshall: Wait, you actually used Jed Mosly's catchphrase?
Ted: Oh yeah ... How do you know that's his catchphrase?
Marshall: [pauses] Hey, I wanted to see Avatar.

Zha Zha Gabor still looks good.


I'm gonna die alone. Ted's gonna be eaten by cats!


One word. Made up. Douchepocalypse!

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