How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 5 Episode 20: "Home Wreckers"

Barney: [repeated line] Robin cried at Clint's song!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: [to Robin] I'm sorry, they're all out of pretzels. I know how emotional they make you. It's okay. Let it go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: The auction was yesterday, my bid was accepted and I signed the papers this morning!
Barney: Was the Blair Witch easy to deal with or did she haggle over closing costs?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I'm gonna set up the grill out back, it's gonna be a total sausage fest. Party. Burgers. We'll do burgers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: This is going to be the home I share with my future wife.
Barney: Is she in the room with us now, Ted?
 • Rating: Unrated

Inspector: These hips? They're not Eriksen baby compliant.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: On the plus side, he probably killed some roaches on impact.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: We all have to live with the mistakes we make, but how often do you get to bash the living hell out of them!?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: [to Ted] Your mom and I got to second base.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: She's a cougar, Ted!
Robin: I thought you said you can't be a cougar if you're over 50.
Barney: She's a Mellencamp.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 19: "Zoo or False"

Barney: I love to travel myself.
Random Girl: Where's the best place you visited?
Barney: Hawaii's nice. A buddy of mine lives in Seattle, that's a good spot. But the best place I have to say, the moon. Hi, Neil Armstrong.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Random Girl #1: Why you calling him Neil?
Random Girl #2: That's his name. He's Neil Armstrong.
Random Girl #1: The cyclist?
Random Girl #2: I thought you were supposed to be on a shuttle mission.
Random Girl #1: I thought you just got mugged.
Barney: Okay, I can do this ... I was on my way to the launch pad, when I was mugged... and the mugger took my space shuttle keys! Nailed it, who's up for a threeway?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: Are you reenacting the last scene from Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
Ted: How long have you been standing there?
Robin: Ten seconds.
Ted: Yup, just the last scene.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: There's a fine line between a true story and a bald-faced lie.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: You did not convince her you were Neil Armstrong. The moon landing took place seven years before you were born.
Barney: Ted, baby doll. Minor hurdle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: It was completely terrifying.
Barney: It was completely terrifying.
Marshall: What are you doing?
Barney: Rehearsing. I'm totally going to pretend it happened to me later.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Lily: He naked-muggered you?
Barney: I'm not even going to ask where he was keeping the gun.
Ted: You sure it was a gun?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: We knocked space boots. Houston, we have a moaner! Other space-related double entendres!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: This is not that uncommon! You know, in Thailand, in China, in Costa Rica, and in many other places where monkey crime is an extremely common occurrence, their social dynamics are predicated upon stealing!
Lily: You got mugged by a monkey!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Are you sure it wasn't a monkey standing on another monkey's shoulders wearing a trench coat?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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