How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 5 Episode 19: "Zoo or False"

Barney: People like being lied to. They just don't like finding out they've been lied to.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Did the robber have five o'clock shadow and a ski cap?
Marshall: Yes, because I was robbed in 1947 at the corner of Abbott and Costello.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: I'll believe Jack Palance is dead when I see the body.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: People want the lie. They need the lie!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pizza Guy: Marshall, there's a cartoon of you on our coupon.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 18: "Say Cheese"

Robin: Fun fact. Each year my mom has Easter tea with her friend named Bunny. Okay not that fun.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: Do I get a vote? Skank lane! Skank lane!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Who wants a party hat? Look I'm a bird! Let's all be birds!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: The camera loves me Robin - more than loves me the camera lusts me. The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights, and do me as I lie there with my eyes closed.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Marshall: Two months - my balls were blu - blu!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture - I don't know why, just ask God.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Barney: I've always looked drop dead stone cold amazing - unlike Marshall who always looked dead, stoned, and cold.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Oh Ted, here's another fun little trivia game it's called - name that bitch.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Lily: Let's take a little walk down random skank lane.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Ted, you were supposed to bring a cheesecake, but instead you bring two grocery bags and a woman we've never scene before.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 17: "Of Course"

Barney: Well, you're in luck because mine's the tiniest, and the more you touch it, the softer it gets.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: At least when I run out on a girl, I have the decency to sleep with her first. It's called manners.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Wow! I knew I would be bad at being a boyfriend, but I didn't know I'd be such a bad ex-boyfriend.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Of course she is upset - take a look at yourself you dumb slut.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: I'm talking about a super date.
Barney: That sounds gooey and romantic -
Ted: Yeah -
Barney: Strip Club?
Ted: Strip Club!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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