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How-i-met-your-mother

Our new sleeping arrangement will only bring us closer together. Now get out of my bed.

Marshall

Barney: I stand by what I did. It was bold and romantic.
Ted: You soiled yourself from both ends of your body.

[after reading his letter] There's just a bunch of drawings of boobs.

Barney

Don: Guys, I came to apologize. I overreacted.
Barney: It's okay. We said some very hurtful things.
Don: No you didn't.
Barney: Right, that was after you left.

I must have Robin back.

Barney

Lily: I think we should get separate beds.
Marshall: YES! A mini-fridge! And separate beds.

Marshall: We slept for 18 hours.
Lily: We lost four pre-paid meals.
Marshall: I lost 11 pounds.

Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.

Barney: So I'm banging this Portuguese contortionist, right, and she's so flexible that at one point she was both on top of me AND underneath me. Up top AND down low! Who needs drinks?
Ted: [to Don] He means well ... actually I'm not sure if that's true.

I didn't know the Jets had new costumes.

Ted

Clint: But you have your own sexual memories with your mom, don't you? Exiting her womb, receiving her milk. You get me, don't you.
Ted: Please don't.

Virginia: I can't believe I am with that man.
Ted: Mom, it's okay. You don't have to settle. There are plenty of other-
Virginia: He's so COOL!

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 267 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes

My panties would hit the floor so hard they'd end up halfway to China.

Robin

Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square

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