Hey Drew, I want that delivery here in an hour. If not, somebody's going to get docked.

Carl

Sean: Does Frank still have that hippy over there?
Fiona: Yeah, doing who knows what.

You could do things with your tongue that would make a rattlesnake blush.

Queenie

What's a King without a Queenie by his side?

Frank

I just got us the house back. I'm not getting booted out.

Fiona

No mass murders kids!

Kevin

I watch chocolate vanilla babies for small fee.

Svetlana

Caleb: I'm HIV positive.
Ian: I have bipolar.

Customer: Where's my change?
Svetlana: In tip jar.
Customer: I didn't ask to tip $5.
Svetlana: Exactly.

Debbie: Where's your house?
Queenie: My tent's right up there.
Debbie: Your tent?

Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.

Lip: There's some girls that look like dudes.
Ian: I'll pass.

Shameless Quotes

Everytime she pees on the stick it's bad news and then I get depressed thinking about my husband banging my mom cause we selfishly wanna have a baby with some of our DNA.

V

Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.