Randy: How many copies of "Meet the Fockers" do we have, Shelly?
Shelly: Six. We still have six!

Butters: What? Really? But I thought I was totally jealous of him! He's just married to Jennifer Garner? Oh my gosh, i feel so much better!
Kenny: You do?
Butters: Yeah, huh. I like that Ben Affleck guy. He's a good filmmaker. C'mon Kenny, I guess I owe the kids at school an apology. Did you see Argo, Kenny? It's a pretty good movie. Ben Affleck has a lot going for him. Not everything, but a lot. Whoopee!

You shouldn't be able to be good-looking, and be with Jennifer Lopez, and be a good director! alright, alright, fine! Argo is a good movie! There, I admitted it! I told people it didn't hold up, but it holds up, gosh darn it! Ben Affleck has everything, grah!

Butters

Tourist Husband: They just pushed on to airplanes and said we weren't welcome any more!
Tourist Wife: Then a little boy called me a skank!

The Mahalo Rewards card is being eliminated. They're trying to say our points are no longer going to be accepted.

Hawaiian Native

Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.

But what does being Hawaiian have to do with me being like an emo chick on her period?

Butters

Why don't you shut up, Dad, and stick it in your ear for crying out loud!

Butters

You're all fake, and stuck up, and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy his jokes aren't funny! The only kid here with a sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have heads up your butts!

Butters

Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes!

Kyle

I'm telling you, Butters beat the crap out of Scott and then locked himself in the bathroom!

Cartman

Security Guy: Ahh! Who are you?
Cartman: [in Bane voice] It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.

South Park Quotes

Stan: Hey Cartman, how come the birthday invitation you gave me says "Green Megaman."
Kyle: Yeah, mine says "Red Megaman."
Cartman: Right, that's what your supposed to get me for my birthday.
Stan: DUDE!?!?! You're not supposed to tell people what to give you for your birthday!
Kyle: Yeah, that's weak.
Cartman: Look it's very simple guys. "Green Megaman" goes with "Red Megaman" and "Yellow Megaman" to make the "Ultra Mega Megaman." You have to have all 3 or it doesn't work, see?
Stan: Up yours Cartman, I'll get you whatever the hell I want.
Cartman: Ohh!!! so maybe you don't want to have any of my moms Cake, Pie, and Ice cream then.
Stan: Oh "Gre..Green Megaman" it is.
Cartman: Now as you can see Kenny, you are to get me "Yellow Megaman," that's because the "Yellow Megaman" is the cheapest one and I know how poor your family is.
(Damien walks to table)
Stan: Hey!?!?! what do you think you're doing new kid?
Cartman: Yeah, you can't sit with us weirdo.
Damien: Infidel's!!!! I will turn you all into "Beasts of Burden"!
Kyle: You can't sit with us new kid, go find another table!
(Damien goes and sits with Pip)
Cartman: (sighs) Anyway Kenny, "Yellow Megaman" is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments in a year, or two.
(Stan, Kyle, and Cartman laugh. Kenny punches Cartman)
Cartman: AYYY!!!!

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman