Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

You're all fake, and stuck up, and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy his jokes aren't funny! The only kid here with a sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have heads up your butts!


Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes!


I'm telling you, Butters beat the crap out of Scott and then locked himself in the bathroom!


Security Guy: Ahh! Who are you?
Cartman: [in Bane voice] It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.

I hate this damn town, everyday things just keep getting weirder around here and I'm just about sick of it!


Old Man: Didn't kill him, did ya? Nah, I didn't think ya had it in ya.
Randy: We scared him, we thought it'd be enough!
Old Man: Milk man don't get scared, not with free pussy at every doorstep.

Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: What?
Marcus: This is Marcus with InSecurity, is everything alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I just heard some troubling news and it set off my InSecurity.

Sergeant Yates: I know you're all worried about your family's security. All I can tell you is that so far Bane has not been caught.
Mr. Mackey: What are we supposed to do? I mean, if Bane is out there on the loose, then none of us are safe. And one Bane's bad enough, but apparently we've got like, like seven Banes, mmkay?

Yeah, sure, because people just order stuff from Amazon and forget what they got.

Randy Marsh
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