South Park

South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

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Obama Wins!
"Obama Wins!"

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Season: 16 15 14 5 4 3 2 1

South Park Season 14 Quotes

Season 14 Episode 14: "Creme Fraiche"

Shake Weight: I just needed help going to sleep... mode.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Randy: You gonna deglaze that f**king pan? I'd deglaze the f**k out of that pan.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Cartman: Well, hearing you bitch about your dad is super interesting, Stan. I hope you do it all lunch period.
 • Rating: 3.6 / 5.0
Sharon: Shake Weight, you're not really work out equipment, are you?
 • Rating: Unrated
Shake Weight: Your work out is finished. Here is some cab fare. Now going to sleep mode.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
TV Announcer: Passengers said the Carnival Cruise line smelled like poop, but that was an improvement.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 13: "Coon vs. Coon & Friends"

Cartman (as The Coon): I'm making the world a better place.
Kenny (as Mysterion): For you! A better place for you!
Cartman (as The Coon): That's what superheroes do!
 • Rating: 2.7 / 5.0
Goth Kid: He promised everything would change if we worshiped him, but we're still sitting here smoking cigarettes like before. It's like Obama all over again.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mint Berry Crunch: How is it that Mint and Berry came together delivering full flavor and intense crunch?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Cartman (as The Coon): Even Cthulhu knows what evil assholes Stan and Kyle and those guys are and that they are m, uncaring vagina-faces.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Stan: Dude you're freaking out Mint Berry Crunch, he's just peed his pants.
Mint Berry Crunch: No, no, Mint Berry Crunch doesn't ever pee his pants!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 12: "Mysterion Rises"

Cartman (as Coon): Should I admit I was wrong, ask for everyone's forgiveness and go back to my original team? Nah, screw that, I'm just gonna keep being a d**k.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Hindsight: what is your power?
Kenny (as Mysterion): I can't die. I've experienced death countless times. Sometimes, I see a bright light. Sometimes, I see Heaven or Hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed wearing my same old clothes. The wort part? No one even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone is just like "Oh, Hey Kenny," even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. You want to whine about Curses, Hindsight? You're talking to the wrong f**king cowboy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Flight Attendant: Unfortunately, we've just been imformed the Dark Lord Cthulu has shat on the runway of the New Orleans airport and we'll be delayed at least another hour.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 11: "The Coon 2: Hindsight"

Captain Hindsight: Tell Brett Favre he shouldn't have sent actual pictures of his schlong.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cartman: You can't kick me out of Coon & Friends, I'm the f**cking Coon!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Tony Hayward: Our environment should stabilize if it's getting drilled here, here, and here.
 • Rating: Unrated
Tony Hayward: We no longer f**k the earth, we DP it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cartman: All Coon friends report to base. I'm so seriously.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 10: "Insheeption"

Doctor: And it will be like a taco inside taco within a Taco Bell that's inside a KFC that's within a mall that's inside your dream!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Season: 16 15 14 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 14 Quotes: 87
Total South Park Quotes: 1483
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