South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Terrance: I'm afraid you have cancer.
Phillip: Oh no.
Terrance: See this? This is your ass. See this line? This is your ass collapsing.
Phillip: Does this mean I won't be able to fart anymore?
Terrance: No, it means you won't be able to live anymore.

Randy: Well, ya see, we had Stan and his friends play with a kid who already had chickenpox so they could catch it.
Dr. Doctor: Oh wowyou didoh wowyou guys suck.

Mrs. Broflovski: How would you boys like to have a little slumber party at your friend Kenny's house tonight?
Cartman: No way, dude, Kenny's family is poor, they live in the ghetto.

Man, your family sucks ass, Kenny. Who ever heard of frozen waffles for dinner?

Cartman

Mrs. Broflovski: Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house?
Kyle: Yeah, dude, I told you, we had bread sandwiches for breakfast.
Mrs. Broflovski: Did you sleep in the same room?
Kyle: Yes, why?
Mrs. Broflovski: Bubbe, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Kenny's house again?
Kyle: No way, dude, it sucked ass, they don't even have cable.
Mrs. Broflovski: Well I think you need to spend more time with your friend.
Kyle: Kenny's not really my friend, Ma, I don't give a rat's ass about him.

Mr. McCormick: Hey! Is it my fault you don't know how to cook!
Mrs. McCormick: What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles, clamhead, you put 'em in the toaster and you cook 'em.
Mr. McCormick: You just don't know how to use spices and stuff.

(saying grace) Lord, we thank you for this staggering payload of frozen waffles you have bestowed upon us. And since we have been faithful to you, we know you will send us some good fortune, one of these days, even though you sure as hell seem to be taking your sweet time. Amen.

Mr. McCormick

Cartman: (while at Kenny's house) Where is the Nintendo?
Mr. McCormick: We don't have a Nintendo. We got a Coleco Vision plugged into the black and white TV.
Kyle: Oh my God, this is like a third-world country.

Cartman: You have rats in your house, too, Kenny?
Kenny: Mm-hmm.
Cartman: Seriously, you better stop being so poor or else I'm gonna start huckin' rocks at you.
Kenny: Well maybe if we get a f**king roof, we won't have rats.
Stan: Oh.

I can't believe you boys gave us herpes...you little rascals.

Randy

We gave you guys herpes!

Stan

Chef: Get them while they're hot. My all new cookies, I Just Went And Fudged Your Momma.
Cartman: Jesus, he sure ran that one into the ground.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 287 in total

South Park Season 2 Quotes

Kyle: You can't die Mr Hankey, you can't.
Mr. Hankey: (Cough)
Kyle, before I go, there's something I must tell you. Come closer Closer
Kyle: What is it Mr Hankey?
Mr. Hankey: There is another Skywalker. Uhhh (Mr Hankey dies)
Kyle: Nooo
Mr. Hankey: (Mr Hankey appears to be alive) Wait Kyle.
Kyle: What is it Mr Hankey?
Mr. Hankey: Come closer
Kyle: What is it?
Mr. Hankey: Closer
Kyle: Yes?
Mr. Hankey: Closer! (Pause) One time, when you were sleeping, I put myself in your mouth and had my friend take a picture. Uhhh (Mr Hankey dies)
Kyle: Nooo

Cartman: So, what kind of side dishes are we going to enjoy this evening with our frozen waffles?
(pause)
Cartman: Am I to understand there will be no side dishes?
Mr. McKormick: So, Kyle, your father still brings home those big fat lawyer paychecks?
Mrs. McKormick: Now, clamhead! Don't even get started!
Mr. McKormick: What? I was just asking a question. Your father and I used to be best friends. But he ended up going to law school because he has rich parents.
Mrs. McKormick: That's not why he was sent to law school! He had dreams that didn't involved getting lazy and drunk all the time!
(Waffle pops out of toaster)
Kevin: My waffle's done! My waffle's done!
Mrs. McKormick: Now now, Kevin. We don't have enough for everybody. You have to split that with your brother.
Cartman: My god, are you f(beep)king kidding me?
Mr. McKormick: Hey! We don't say f(beep)k at the dinner table, you little assh*le!
Cartman: (muttering) Yeah, well apparently, they don't say side dishes either...