South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Sexual Harassment Panda: But I'm just a panda.
Kyle: No your not dude, you're a guy in a panda costume!

I'm Willy the 'don't stare directly into the sun' worm. Now you boys know not to stare directly into the sun, right?

Misfit mascot

Judge: Well, seeing as how we have no lawyers, I'm throwing the case out. Case dismissed.
Skeeter: Hey! We don't take kindly to cases being dismissed around here.
Bartender: Goddamnit Skeeter, shut the hell up.

Skeeter: We don't take kindly to your types around here.
Cartman: Did you guys see a big panda bear in here or not?
Skeeter: We don't take kindly to panda bears!
Stan: Well, we don't take kindly to you!
Man at bar: We don't take kindly to folks that don't take kindly around here.

When one little panda sticks his winkie in another little panda's ear... that's sexual harassment. That makes me a saaaad panda.

Sexual Harassment Panda

Kyle: Whoa did you hear that, Tweek?
Tweek: (Exhausted) What?
Kyle: Craig just called you a boner.
Tweek: Agh! You son of a bitch!
(Fights Craig again)
Kyle: We just have to keep pouring gas into the fire.
Stan: Yeah!

It is only an ass. You must overcome the ass with your mind!

Sumo Master

(while boxing Tweek) What you got bee-och?

Ned

There is indeed great power in your ass, Eric. Perhaps you should consider sumo as a profession.

Sumo Master

You are here because you are America's future. You may someday be doctors, or lawyers, or scientists. Most of you, however, will be pumping gas or cutting sheet metal. And that's why we have shop class.

Mr. Adler

(Cartman and Craig are Sumoing)
Cartman: Respect mah authoritah!! (Shoves his ass at Craig)
Craig: Oh, Jesus! I can't take it!
Sumo Trainer: Fight back! Resist the ass!
Craig: How can I resist an ass so great!?!
Sumo Master: It is only an ass! You must overcome the ass with your mind!

Cartman: Well then I guess you won't care about what Tweek said about your mom.
Craig: Nope.
(slams door)
Cartman: GODDAMMIT!
(knocks and Craig opens the door)
Cartman: I guess you won't care about what he said about your guinea pig.
Craig: WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT STRIPE!!

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 284 in total

South Park Season 3 Quotes

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

Stan: All we ever heard growing up was "save the rainforest. The rainforest is fragile."
Kyle: Yeah. Fragile, my ass!