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South-park

Sheila Brovflofski: Kyle and Ike, be safe, and Kenny, try to act Jewish.
Kenny: (muffled) How do you do that?

Jubilee Director: We have all gathered here tonight, from every chapter of Judiasm.
Elder #1: Elder Schwartz, orthodox chapter.
Elder #2: Elder Harris, reform chapter.
Elder #3: Elder Garth, anti-semitic chapter.
Jubilee Director: I've never heard of the anti- semitic chapter of Judiasm before.
Elder Garth: We're new.

Moses: And let us glue paper plates together with beans inside so when you shake them they make rattling noises.
Rabbi: Paper plate bean shakers, of couse!
Moses: And let us put patterns of glue on the outside and sparkles so they look all nice and sparkly.

Squirt Leader: Okay, Squirts, let's see what you made macaroni pictures of. Ishmael?
Ishmael: Apple.
Squirt Leader: Good. Matthew?
Matthew: Cat.
Squirt Leader: Joseph?
Joseph: Triangle.
Squirt Leader: Okay. Ike?
Ike: Cokeshen.
Squirt Leader: You don't make a macaroni picture of the Last Supper at a Jewish camp!

Kyle: Mom? Can Kenny go to Jewbilee with me?
Sheila: Uh well, Kyle, Jewbilee is sort of a special thing.
Kyle: Oh. Kenny isn't special?
Kenny: (Aw.)
Sheila: No, no, you're very special, Kenny. It's just that well, Jewbilee is for Jewish kids.
Gerald: You see boys, Jew Scouts is a special group that borrows a little bit from all different Jewish denominations. From the Orthodox Jews, from the Hasidic Jews, from the Northern Italy Cave Jews But you have to believe the basic tenets of Judaism to be a Scout.
Kyle: Kenny'll believe whatever you want him to.
Kenny: (Yeah.)

Gerald: Tell Ike how much fun Squirts is, Kyle.
Kyle: What? You want me to lie?
Gerald: Yeah, lie.

Squirt Leader: Okay, Squirts, the elders have given us a very important task tonight. We are all going to make macaroni pictures, like this one, using dry macaroni, paper, and glue.
Squirt: How come we have to make macaroni pictures?
Squirt Leader: Because that's what Squirts do! Now, shut your pie-hole!

Are you a sourpuss?

</i> Dougie

Butters: Hey what are we gonna do huh? They shot at us, they really shot at us. They ain't gonna stop until were all dead I betcha, us and all our families. (Stan slaps Butters)
Stan: Get a hold of yourself man!
Butters: How can you slap my face Stan, huh? Why on earth would you go do that anyway?

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