South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park

Stupid stuffed animals trying to ruin my night!

Skyler

(Doing his rendition of Wild Wild West) Well, I'm a badass cowboy living in a cowboy's age, whicky-whicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang. Me and Artemus Clyde Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider. Whicky-whicky-wick fresh, cowboy from the westside.

Cartman

They're having a cat orgy!

Shelly

Cartman: Look out, Artemus Clyde Frog! It's a giant metal spider!
(Tosses Clyde aside, aims at a plush spider hanging on the edge of his toy box and fires toy gun)
Cartman: Bang! Bangbang!
(Strafes and performs a cartwheel)
Cartman: Yoyoyo, jiggity jiggy with it! Bang bang bang!
(He Tosses a baseball at the spider and knocks it out of the box)
Cartman: We saved the day! The Wild Wild West, The Wild Wild Wild West. Uhyo wicky wicky scratch, Uh wicky wicky scratch

( as "Artemus" Clyde Frog) If we save her, I am going to take off her pants and play Slip'N'Slide!

Cartman

Cartman: (approaches Shelley) Well, go put that pizza in the oven, b*tch! I'm hungry! (she punches him into the wall) Ow!
Shelley: Alright, turd, listen up! Now that your mom is gone, I'm in charge. I don't know how you treat your other babysitters, but when I'm babysitting, you're nothing but a little turd. You're a stinky dried-up stupid turd! Got it?!
Cartman: You can't hit me! Didn't you see those nanny videos on TV? (she punches him, sending him into the wall again)
Shelley: My boyfriend is coming over, so you go to the kitchen, and you make us that pizza before I snap you in half like the little turd-stick you are!

Oh, that sounds fine. I'm going to a meteor shower party. The number where I'll be is on the refrigerator. Eric's nookie time is 9 o'clock sharp. If his little woogums get cold, you can turn up the heat over here. And if he gets cranky, just play tummy-rub-rubs with him, and make sure he wipes good after he makes bears.

Lianne

Lianne: Thank you so much for babysitting little Eric, Shelley.
Shelley:(shrugs)Okay.
Lianne: All those other babysitters wouldn't come back.

Liane: The babysitter's here, come on downstairs.
Cartman: But, Mo-om, I'm playing Wild, Wild We-est!
Liane: I have to leave soon, Eric.
Cartman: But Ma-a-am! Me and Artemus Clyde Frog still have to do our love scene with Selma Hyea-a-ak!

Skyler: How long do we know each other?
Shelly: Tomorrow it will be 8 days.

Shelly: Nobody my age will go out with me because I'm too ugly!
Cartman: You're not ugly.
Shelly: You don't think so?
Cartman: Well, you're pretty ugly, but you don't have to be dating 22 year olds.

The Male Lion now wants to be alone. he sends the female away an promises he will call her tomorrow. But the female won't leave. No, she is moving right in. Looks like the male lion is screwed.

Narrator on TV
Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 284 in total

South Park Season 3 Quotes

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

Stan: All we ever heard growing up was "save the rainforest. The rainforest is fragile."
Kyle: Yeah. Fragile, my ass!

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