South Park

South Park Season 3 Quotes (Page 14)

Season 3 Episode 2: "Spontaneous Combustion"

Randy: Boys, did you notice anything strange about Kenny, in the weeks leading up to his combustion? What did he spend his time doing?
Kyle: He didn't do anything. He was always with his new girlfriend.
Randy: New girlfriend?
Stan: Yeah, he started seeing this girl and he spent all his time taking the bus to go visit her. What does that have to do with his death?
Randy: Maybe nothing...maybe everything.
(Dramatic music plays in the background)
Stan: Yeah, well, we're gonna go work on getting Kyle's dad a nerection.
Randy: Yes, yes of course-I've got work to do.
(They leave the room)
Randy: What?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Hey, that went really well. They really liked it.
Cartman: Yeah, told you I'd be a sweet Jesus, you guys.
Kyle: Aw man, at least the real Jesus didn't weight 400 pounds.
Cartman: Up your ass, with broken glass!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 1: "Rainforest Schmainforest"

The GGWK Choir: Getting Gay With Kids is here!
 • Rating: Unrated

Guide: Don't worry. The snake is more afraid of us than we are of it.
(Snake hisses and wraps itself around the Guide)
Cartman: (sarcastically) Oh yeah. The snake's really afraid of us.
(Snake swallows the Guide whole)
Miss Stevens: Is he dead?
(Guide's skeleton exits the snake)
Kyle: I would say yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Militant Group Leader: We're not getting gay with any kids, okay?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(the new and improved Getting Gay With Kids song)
You only fight these causes, because caring sells,
all you activists can go f(beep)k yourselves.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Mackey: Did you just flip me off?
Craig: No!
Mr. Mackey: Yes you did, you just flipped me the bird.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: (upon passing out from hunger) ...Need...food.
Construction worker: Get this child some food, quick!
Cartman: Chicken wings.
 • Rating: Unrated

(when Kelly says Kenny's name wrong)
Kenny: (muffled) My name is Kenny Kenny no Kenny.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: So,are you going to see your girlfriend again?
Kenny: No, dude seriously.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Stevens: I F(bleep)G HATE THE RAINFOREST!
 • Rating: Unrated

(After Kenny has been struck by lightning)
Kyle: Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
Stan: You bastards!
Kelley: Who!? Who killed him!?
Kyle: They...uh, they did.
Kelly: Who's they!?
Stan: ..They're bastards...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(after the GGWK choir has been saved by the deforestation workers)
Ms. Stevens: So, what are you doing out here with all this equipment?
Worker: Oh, we're tearing down the rainforest to make room a lumber yard, do you have a problem with that or something?
Ms. Stevens: Me? Oh no, you go ahead and tear down this whole f**king thing!
 • Rating: Unrated

(While driving through San Jose, Costa Rica)
Cartman: Oh my God, it smells like ass out here.
Miss Stevens: Alright, that does it. Eric Cartman, you respect other cultures this instant.
Cartman: I wasn't saying anything about their culture; I was just saying their city smells like ass!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(During a lightning storm.)
Stan: Oh my god! I just saw Tony Danza!
Ms. Stevens: No, you did not just see Tony Danza!
(In next flash of lightning Tony Danza is sitting with the kids in the circle.)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: AHHH! SNAKE!
Kyle: No dude, that's a branch.
Stan: Oh. AHHH! SNAKE!
Kyle: No dude, that's the same branch again.
Stan: Oh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: What if you don't have any rhythm?
Choir Teacher: Excuse me?
Cartman: Well, like my friend Kyle. He's Jewish, so he doesn't have any rhythm.
Kyle: Shut up, fat ass!
Stan: Choirs suck.
Mr. Garrison: Kyle Broflovski, you watch your language!! Eric Cartman, you be nice to people!! Stan Marsh, you mind your manners!! Kenny McCormick, you pay attention!! (sighs deeply and tells the choir teacher) Go ahead.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Stevens: I'm leaving some pamphlets up here on the desk if anyone is interested.
Cartman: Oh good. We could use some more toilet paper.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Hey maybe Cartman was right.
Stan: Yea, it did happen one time before.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Stevens: (about Cartman) Fine! You deserve to die you little bastard!
 • Rating: Unrated

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