Stan: Hey Cartman, what does 'fingerbang' mean anyway?
Cartman: I heard it on HBO; it means like, you know, when you pretend to use your finger like a gun or something.

Stan: Dude, we don't have any musical talent.
Cartman: That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!

I'm sorry Chef, Mr. Hat is a racist bastard.

Mr. Garrison

Kyle: Cartman doesn't always win. He just gets pissed off and goes home, so we can't debate anymore.
Class: Yeah!
Cartman: Nuh-uh, I'm just a better debater than you guys.
Stan: You don't even know what you're debating about half the time!
Cartman: Yes I do!
Craig: No, you don't!
Kyle: Told you.

This is about history kids. If you don't have respect for your past then you can never expect...BIRD! (shoots down bird) Then you can never expect to have a future.


People are gonna' start saying that the Denver Broncos are offensive to horses and then we'll have to SQUIRREL! (shoots down squirrel) Then we'll have to change everything.


(to Wendy) Whoa! Calm down hoe.


Sheila: Mr. Garrison! You're a Klan member?
Mr. Garrison: No! No, but Mr. Hat is.

Jimbo: Chef, what about the baseball team, the Cleveland Indians, huh? Should they change their name because it's racist?
Chef: Yeah!
Jimbo: No!

Chef: Hey, Mackey! Sign up to march on Wednesday?
Mr. Mackey: Oh, Wednesday? Wednesday's tough. I guess- maybe I could do somethin' uh, Thursday afternoon.
Chef: Alright, fudge it, Thursday. Anyone else wanna go Thursday?
Principal Victoria: Thursday's no good, we've got choir council.
Mr. Mackey: Oh, yeah.
Principal Victoria: What about next Sunday?
Chef: Fine! Next Sunday!
Man 1: You mean, during the ball game?
Man 2: Oh, yeah. We can't do Sunday.
Chef: Monday??
Principal Victoria: Oh, I can't do Monday.
Man: I could do Tuesday.
Mr. Mackey: Yeah, Tuesday morning's good.
Woman: You know what would be better for me is Saturday afternoon.
Man 2: Saturday is perfect for me.
Principal Victoria: Yeah. How about Saturday at 11:30?
Woman: Yeah.
Man 3: That sounds good.
Man 2: Yep.
Mr. Mackey: Yeah, I think that's the best day.
Chef: Okay! On Saturday, we march!
Man 2: Oh, march? What are we marching for?
Chef: To bring down the South Park Flag!
(People start walking away)
Man: Oh, I gotta go.

Jimbo: (Spying on the Klan) Alright. Let's sneak in quietly.
Ned: Okay.
Jimbo: Dammit Ned, doesn't that thing have a volume control?
Ned: No.

Wendy: Cartman, why don't you just go home. You aren't helping any.
Cartman: You won't let me help.
Wendy: That's because you're stupid and you're a racist.
Cartman: ...touch.

South Park Season 4 Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

(singing) I don't want to wait, for my trapper keeper to be over!