Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

I'm gay! I'm gay as a gymnast on shore leave!

Mr. Garrison

Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)

I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.


Kyle: (After Timmy coming back from time) Dude! It looks like Timmy went all over time! He must have alot to tell us!
Timmy: Ih, Timmy.

(to Cartman) Shut up, fat ass!


Life isn't about going back, it's about going forward.
Yes, there are times in our lives that we wish we could relive... but, if we've already lived them perfectly, why live them again? The adventure of life is there's always something new, new challenges, new experiences, a fun game is a game it gets harder as it goes, so it is with life.

Ms. Choksondik

Cartman: We did not do our homework Ms.Makes-me-sick.
Ms.Choksondik: It's Choksondik!

After being dismissed from teaching, he went off to write romance novels. His first novel sold very well and everything was fine until he found out his novel won the Gay Pulitzer Prize, and was considered the best homo-erotic novel since 'Huckleberry Finn'.

Mr. Mackey

Cartman: (jumping up on the desk) Kiss my ass!
(long pause)
Cartman: Oh, you guys are so weak!
Ms. Choksondik: Young man do you have an explanation for this?
Cartman: Oh, I'm sure I do.

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