South Park

South Park Season 4 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 4 Episode 5: "Cartman Joins NAMBLA"

Stan: Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude, (beep) you.
Kyle: Seriously.
 • Rating: Unrated

FBI Exec: Where are the children?
Dr. Mephesto: What children?
FBI Exec: This is NAMBLA, right?
Dr. Mephesto: Yes.
FBI Exec: The North American Man Boy Love Association?
Dr. Mephesto: What? No! We're the North American Marlon Brando look alikes!
FBI Exec 2: Aw crap, we got the wrong NAMBLA!
Mr. Garrison: Aw dammit, I'm in the wrong place!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: I'm telling you, Officer Barbrady, this is all a terrible mistake.
Barbrady: Well, the FBI says I have to keep you here, so that's what I'm gonna do, Mr. Complainypants.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: This is boring.
Kyle: Yeah. (to the Head NAMBLA member) HEY, WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET INTO SOME ACTION, HUH?!
(All the NAMBLA members 'ooh')
Head NAMBLA member: Oh, goodness! What a gift from God!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Kenny is holding a plunger above his head and staring angrily at his mother)
Mrs. McCormick: Oh, hi Kenny. What are you doing?
(Camera pans back to angry plunger-holding Kenny)
Mrs. McCormick: Wh-What are you doin' Kenny?
(Camera pan)
Mrs. McCormick: Kenny..What are you goin' to plunge?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Why the hell does the F.B.I. keep arresting all my friends?? This HAS to be the work of Stan and Kyle, God I hate those guys!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Alright, what the hell do you guys think you're doing?!
Stan: We're making faces at sick people.
 • Rating: Unrated

Child Molester: Do you like having your back rubbed?
Mr. Garrison: Eat me pervert.
Child Molester: Okay.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(after Kenny hits his dad intentionally with a baseball)
Mrs. McCormick: What happened?
Mr. McCormick: He smacked me in the balls!
 • Rating: Unrated

Officer Barbrady: Wow, they've got activists for everything these days.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Alright Cartman, I'm gonna give you a jail time card. You lose a turn.
Stan: Sweet.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna give you AIDS.
Kyle: What?
Cartman: I just gave you AIDS.
Kyle: AIDS?
Stan: Dude, that's not cool. Don't give Kyle AIDS.
Cartman: (writing) Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: (to Kenny) Goddamn it poor people suck. Your family is already on welfare and now you're gonna bring another kid into the world. Poor people are churning out babies, adding to the population and then expecting ME to pay for it with MY tax dollars.
Stan: You don't pay tax dollars Cartman, you're 8.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Those perverts aren't going to rest until they have made love to one of us right? So somebody's just gonna have to go out there and take one for the team. And I think in all fairness it should be Butters.
Butters: Huh? Now why me?
Cartman: Are you a team player or not?
Butters: Well sure, I'm a team player I guess.
Cartman: Now Butters, there is no 'i' in team.
Butters: You mean to expect me to go out there and let all those horny old men have their way with my fragile person? Well just what team is this anyway?
Cartman: Just go Butters, we're running out of time.
Butters: Oh, alright then. (Butters leaves the room)
Cartman: (Laughs) He's such a dumbass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carol: Are you alright Stuart?
Stuart: Don't touch me. I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned and been made love to in the ass by three dozen forty year old men. I just wanna go home and take a hot bath.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 4: "Quintuplets 2000"

Janet Reno: Look, people have it so good in America that they get bored very easily. And when people get bored, they start protesting things.
 • Rating: Unrated

Reporter: Yes, lucky for them, these quintuplets no longer have to live in Romania, the asshole of the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Randy breaks it to the quintuplets that their grandma died)
Randy: Everyone who has a grandma, step forward.
(Stan, Cartman, Kenny and quintuplets step forward)
Randy: Not so fast, girls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: We've reached fag factor 5, captain.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Grandpa Marsh: That grandma's quite a nice piece of ass.
Randy: Ew, dad! Not in front of Stanley.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janet Reno: (Pulls out an automatic) Hello girls! I'm the easter bunny!
 • Rating: Unrated

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