South Park

South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

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Season: 16 15 14 5 4 3 2 1

South Park Season 4 Quotes (Page 14)

Season 4 Episode 2: "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000"

Police Officer: Crazy son of a bitch!
 • Rating: Unrated
Kyle: We won again!
Token: That's not fair! Cartman's ass is so fat, he makes your sled go faster!
Cartman: Hey! Don't call me fat, Token!
 • Rating: Unrated
Romper Stomper: There's two kinds of kids, kids who like Animaniacs and kids who don't like Animaniacs, so which one are you?
Cartman: Well, personally, I ...don't like Animaniacs?
Romper Stomper: Neither do we!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 1: "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000"

News Anchor: to which Mrs. Clinton replied, 'I don't even like vagina.'
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cartman: I love that song, mom. Sing it again.
Liane Cartman: No honey, mommy's got to save her throat. I have to work tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: (telling Butters as the tooth fairy) Do not open your eyes until morning, or I will kick you in the nuuuuutssquare in the nuuuts.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kyle: What about Dan Rather? Do you think he's real?
Cartman: No, man, that's just a TV show.
 • Rating: Unrated
Chef: Well look at you cute little crackers with your money and your fancy clothes and your cell phones. It's almost like you wereOh my God! Children, what have I told you about drugs?
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny: There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college.
 • Rating: Unrated
(Sick kid talking to parents while Cartman lurks outside his window.)
Sick Kid: Oh mommy, I can't wait to be better!
Cartman: Well kid, you're gonna have to wait just a little longer because that $600 is mine.
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: My mom lied to me just like your parents lied to you and now we're poor like Kenny's family.
(Kenny walks over to comfort Cartman.)
Cartman: Don't touch me Kenny.
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: How do you know what the tooth fairy wants me to do? You're not the tooth fairy!
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: Yea! This is so tits!
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: It's better than your dress. You look like a bad Jennifer Lopez nightmare!
 • Rating: Unrated
Loogie: Kids have been doing the tooth fairy rack in this town for years. I do it just like my big brother before me, and my oldest brother before that.
 • Rating: Unrated
Cartman: Man, that is tits!
 • Rating: Unrated
Loogie: Tell you what, how would you like to run the South Park tooth racket for me?
Stan: Oh. I dunno
(Loogie holds up a knife)
Loogie: It's that, or else I can cut off your penises.
Cartman: Hmm. Work for youHave my penis cut off. Work for youHave my penis cut off. Let's see
Kyle: Cartman!
 • Rating: Unrated
Dentist at ADA: We believe that there can be only one logical reason for all of this.
(Slide changes to show the reason)
Dentist at ADA: A giant half-chicken, half-squirrel that steals either teeth or money from children as they sleep in order to build some kind of giant nest for its genetically superior and potentially dangerous offspring. We believe also that this creature would have at least a mild understanding of algebra and that it
(interrupted by other dentist)
 • Rating: Unrated
Mr. Foley: It's not ridiculous, it's very possible! I've seen it happen before!
Dentist: Where?
Mr. Foley: In Montreal.
(All of the dentists burst into laughter)
Dentist: And where, pray, is this Montreal?
 • Rating: Unrated
Dentist: Anyway, the half-chicken, half-squirrel would most likely be about 3 to 4.5 feet tall. His large beak is probably detachable and works as a flotation device.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
(When Cartman throws the wad of money to Chef)
Chef: Oh my God! There's got to be at least 15 dollars here!
 • Rating: Unrated

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Season: 16 15 14 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 4 Quotes: 285
Total South Park Quotes: 1483
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