(to Kenny, who's eating a bowl of mints)
Kyle: Look, Kenny, I know your family's poor, but you cant just eat a bowl of mints for dinner...
Kenny: (Muffled) Well, f**k you.(Flips Kyle off)

• Permalink: Look, Kenny, I know your family's poor, but you cant just eat a ...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Kyle: Kenny ate all the mints, dad.
Gerald: Oh, those weren't mints, those were antacid tablets.
Kyle: oh...
Kyle & Stan: KENNY!
(Kenny drinks water then explodes)

• Permalink: Kenny ate all the mints, dad. Oh, those weren't mints, those w...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Mayor McDaniels: (to Jimbo and Chef) Gentlemen, I understand you are here to present both sides of an issue. I want to hear you both out and do this in a civil and constructive manner, so I can give you both the time and attention you deserve. Jimbo why don't you begin.
Jimbo: Mayor, it's about the South Park flag
Mayor McDaniels: Oh Jesus Christ, not this again.

• Permalink: Gentlemen, I understand you are here to present both sides of an...
• Added: March 04, 2010

The rest of you go get the goods on Stan. His mom grounded him once for setting something on fire. Let's find out what that something was and then lie and say it was a puppy.

Cartman

• Permalink: The rest of you go get the goods on Stan. His mom grounded him o...
• Added: March 04, 2010

KKK Leader: Well that's enough rallying for this afternoon, members. Let's go take a hot shower!
KKK Members: Hot shower! Hot shower! Hot shower!

• Permalink: Well that's enough rallying for this afternoon, members. Let's g...
• Added: March 04, 2010

KKK leader: Good evening, brothers. Our first order of business tonight is to have Brother Anderson update us on last week's minutes.
Brother Anderson: Last week we decided we hate blacks and Jews... A lot.

• Permalink: Good evening, brothers. Our first order of business tonight is ...
• Added: March 04, 2010

All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid ones like cows and turtles and stuff.

Kyle

• Permalink: All animals kill, and the animals that don't kill are stupid one...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Let the mysterious ways of our people show you a new way of tampons!

Carlos Ramirez and Chief Running Pinto

• Permalink: Let the mysterious ways of our people show you a new way of tamp...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Mr. Mackey: What do you love most?
Mr. Garrison: Besides teaching?
Mr. Mackey: Yes
Mr. Garrison: Poon tang
Mr. Mackey: Mmkay.
Mr. Garrison: I can't help it. I'm a womanizer sometimes I know but I just think that bringing a woman home and getting some hot poon is about the greatest thing in the world.
Mr. Mackey: Well that settles it Mr. Garrison, what you need to do is go write a great romance novel!

• Permalink: What do you love most? Besides teaching? Yes Poon tang M...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Don't get too close to Kyle; it looks like he might have the AIDS.

Mrs. Cartman

• Permalink: Don't get too close to Kyle; it looks like he might have the AID...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Get Well Soon, Kyle Song:
Butters: (singing) We're so sorry you're not feeling well.
We hope you're better soon.
So we're bringing you some sunshine
By, um, singing you this tune:
Everybody misses you
And though we hate to cause a fuss
We'd like to say, "Get well soon!"
And "Please don't die on us."

• Permalink: We're so sorry you're not feeling well. We hope you're better s...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Careful Cartman, you might pop your stitches.

Stan

• Permalink: Careful Cartman, you might pop your stitches.
• Added: March 04, 2010