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South-park

Kyle: Remember when life used to be simple and cool?
Cartman: Not really.
Butters: (walks to the bus stop) Uh, hey. How's it going fellas?
Stan: Butters! What the hell do you think you're doing??
Butters: Well, I'm just standing around being a kid, why? How come you're wearing them oogy spaceman masks?
Kyle: These are gas masks, Butters!
Stan: Yeah, if you don't wear a gas mask, you'll be easily exposed to smallpox or anthrax!
Butters: What?! Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna get the 'thrax, fellas! W-what do I do??
Stan: There's nothing you can doexcept stop breathing.
Butters: Stop breathing??
Kyle: Yeah, you can't get it if you don't breath.
Butters: Oh, all right, then! (inhales deeply and holds breath)

Afghani Kid #1: (about Stan and the others) They are not spies; they just came here to give us our goat back.
Afghani Kid #2: Screw them; they're evil Americans!
Afghani Kid #1: I know. But, if we don't help the innocent ones, then we are no better than the Americans are.
Afghani Kid #3: Help Americans? That doesn't make any sense!
Afghani Kid #1: Dude, we are speaking English right now. Does THAT make sense??

Hey look what the postman brought me! It's a big brown package from Afghanistan!

Stan

Cartman: I told you Jawas have no hearts.
Kyle: Jawas?
Cartman: You know, Sand People.

Eh What's up, Bin Laden?

Cartman

Sharon: Okay, boys, that's it. You have to go now.
Stan: No no, it's okay, Mom. We, we can't go to baseball practice 'cause Kyle has cancer.

Tynacorp Leader: You see kids, the Army hasn't been telling the truth.
Kyle: Dude, we don't care.
Tynacorp Leader: They wanted to turn these towels into human killers.
Kyle: DUDE, WE DON'T CARE! We just want our Okama Gamesphere.

What has this world come to? Where people can just take your Okama Game-Sphere.

Kyle

Military Leader: Hello, boys. How are you doing?
Stan: Fine.
Military Leader: Say, boys, this may sound a little odd, but Have you seen a talking towel around anywhere?
Kyle: What? You mean Towelie?
Military Leader: (speaks into the two-way radio) Echo, this is Garrett. I've got a Code 5 in (checks map) Park County, Colorado. I repeat, Code 5, Park County, Colorado.
Cartman: What, dude?
(The Military Leader and soldier drive away.)
Stan: Dude, this is gonna be one long ass day

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