The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 22 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 22 Episode 18: "The Great Simpsina"

Lisa: You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I can't stand to see one of my female children unhappy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nelson: God, if you don't bring my Lisa home safe, ants will burn tonight!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: In 1957 I saw him turn turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owed? when it got really hot it smelled like Frito's.
 • Rating: Unrated

Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Hello boat store, I'd like to order a boat. What do you mean dial tone?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Masseuses - half doctors, half hookers that solve everything.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: First I work? Then I pay? Then I have to eat fruit? Why was I ever born?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 22 Episode 17: "Love Is A Many Strangled Thing"

Homer: The therapy was too effective.
Dr. Zander: Ah, yes. One of the most common complaints about therapy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Zander: Sue me for what? My home in a hallowed out tree?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: That's ridiculous. How could two people from the same family need therapy?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Homer: I can't quit drinking anymore than I can quit being a man. [takes a drink] Now it feels like a morning.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Zander: After two more weeks of sessions...
Homer: I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander: You're cured.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Zander: You have a good heart, Kareem. That's why you're the only Laker I can trust with this.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Strangling, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's my sharpest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Homer: Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem to begin with!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.
 • Rating: Unrated

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