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The-simpsons

Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?

Homer

Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.

First five customers get a discount, next five get to hear secrets from the first five.

Julio

Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville, my genius can not be stopped.

Homer

It's one of those unsolved mysteries, like how do my clothes get cleaned and get back in my dresser?

Bart

That theremin has paid for itself time and time again.

Principal Skinner

Newsweek magazine did say it's good to change careers... right after they laid off all their editors.

Marge

I'm not a hairdresser. I just put a new lid on a couple of trash cans.

Homer

You two look good - open casket good.

Grampa
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