Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

The doctor said I wouldnt have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

Ralph

Uh... so... do you like..... stuff?

Ralph

Homer: You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops.
Chief Wiggum: They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?

I didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll cry now.

Groundskeeper Willie

Good evening, everyone, and welcome to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves.

Principal Skinner

Guy: Where do you want these beef hearts?
Lunchlady Doris: On the floor.
Guy: It doesnt look very clean.
Lunchlady Doris: Just do your job, heart boy.

Lisa: Ralph thinks I like him but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him.
Homer: Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?

(Watching The Krusty Show)
Bart: I'd give anything to go to that show!
Homer: I'd sell my first-born son!
Bart: Hey!
Homer: You'll do as you're told!

If you think I'm cuddly and you want my company, come on wifey let me know!

Ned
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