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The-simpsons

Bart: I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!
Marge: Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Could you please be quiet?
Bart: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quie --
Marge: Bart, get out!

Alright, I know how to handle this, just use a little reverse psychology. Let's go Marge. Leave the baby with his little crib............. AAAAAARGHHH!

Homer

Homer: Dad, I have a problem.
Grampa: Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone... withered away like an old piece of fruit. (Sobs)
Homer: Are you done?
Grampa: No, not yet! I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York!
Homer: Dad, I don't need advice! I need 15,000 dollars to buy a home!
Grampa: Oh, well. All I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands!
Homer: You didn't build this house! You won it on a crooked 50's game show!
Grampa: I ratted on everybody and got off scott free!

Can't sleep, clown'll eat me!

Bart

I've got some joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. (Where?) Down in my heart to stay! And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack. (Ouch!) Sit on a tack. (Ouch!)

Rod/Todd

Bart: I was sitting there!
Lisa: I don't see your name on it!
Bart: It's right there!
Marge: Bart, don't write on the rug.

Homer: Can you say Daddy?
Baby Lisa: Homer.
Homer: No sweetie, Daddy.
(Pause)
Baby Lisa: Homer.
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: You know Maggie, the sooner kids talk the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.
Maggie: Daddy.

Bart: Homer!
Homer: No, Bart. Homer is what grownups call me. Call me Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy.
Bart: DadaDomer.
Homer: Why, you little?!

I think he's a clown. He he he he.

</i> Homer

According to Fretful Mother magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk by age one, we should consider a corrective tongue-extender.

Marge

(holding baby Lisa) Hi-dee-ho, Simpson. Your son shoved this through our doggy door. And since we're returning your second-born, do you think you could see your way to returning my TV tr--
(Homer takes Lisa and slams the door in Flanders' face)

Flanders
Displaying quotes 229 - 240 of 396 in total

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer
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