I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer.

Evil Homer

Nelson: I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back.
Milhouse: Yes, sir.

Nelson: Imagine...a school out there with no bullies.
Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food.
Nelson: I can't take it!

Barney: (whacking invisible snakes) Snakes! Snakes everywhere!
Lenny: You gettin' ready for Whacking Day?
Barney: What's Whacking Day?

Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day!
Boy: We'll break their backs
Gouge out their eyes
Their evil hearts we'll pulverize!
Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
May God bestow His grace on thee.

Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an approprate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that, when daddy hit the referee?

Homer

Principal Skinner: May I interest you in a jello brick, sir? There's a grape in the center.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I'm not made of stone.

Reverend Lovejoy: (Reading from bible) And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpants which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. (Long pause) So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Wacking Day.
Lisa: Lemme see that.
Reverend Lovejoy: (Puts bible behind him) ...Mmmmmmm, no.

Lisa: If the snakes were in here we could protect them.
Bart: According to this, snakes hear by sensing vibrations in the ground. So, if we put our stereo speakers on the ground and play something with a lot of bass, those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham.

Lisa: How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you?
Grampa: I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.

Gentlemen, start your whacking!

Miss Springfield

Well Marge, should I whack slow or fast?

Homer

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer

Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!

Willie