I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer.

Evil Homer

Nelson: I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back.
Milhouse: Yes, sir.

Nelson: Imagine...a school out there with no bullies.
Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food.
Nelson: I can't take it!

Barney: (whacking invisible snakes) Snakes! Snakes everywhere!
Lenny: You gettin' ready for Whacking Day?
Barney: What's Whacking Day?

Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day!
Boy: We'll break their backs
Gouge out their eyes
Their evil hearts we'll pulverize!
Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
Oh Whacking Day!
May God bestow His grace on thee.

Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an approprate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that, when daddy hit the referee?

Homer

Principal Skinner: May I interest you in a jello brick, sir? There's a grape in the center.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I'm not made of stone.

Reverend Lovejoy: (Reading from bible) And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpants which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. (Long pause) So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Wacking Day.
Lisa: Lemme see that.
Reverend Lovejoy: (Puts bible behind him) ...Mmmmmmm, no.

Lisa: If the snakes were in here we could protect them.
Bart: According to this, snakes hear by sensing vibrations in the ground. So, if we put our stereo speakers on the ground and play something with a lot of bass, those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham.

Lisa: How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you?
Grampa: I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.

Gentlemen, start your whacking!

Miss Springfield

Well Marge, should I whack slow or fast?

Homer

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Bart: Remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac!," and when he let you go, you kicked him in the back?
Homer: Yeah.
Bart: Will you teach me how to do that?
Homer: Sure, boy. First, you gotta shriek like a woman and keep sobbing until he turns away in disgust. That's when it's time to kick some back. And then when he's lying down on the ground,...
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Kick him in the ribs.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: Step on his neck.
Bart: Yeah.
Homer: And run like hell.

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer