Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

Grampa

Homer: Alright brain. You don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer
Homer's Brain: It's a deal.

Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing nothing?
Grampa: I figured it was because the Demmie-crats were back in power.

(Typing a letter) Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.

Grampa

Dondelinger: Welcome to Remedial Science 1A. My wife recently passed away. I thought that maybe teaching would ease my loneliness.
Homer: Will this be on the test?
Dondelinger: No!
Homer: Ohhh. (Erases note from his cheat sheet)

Homer's Brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.
Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Marge: Oh, my God!
Homer's Brain: No, the other secret!
Homer: Marge, I never graduated from High School.
Marge: Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does.

Eh, I could pull a better cartoon out of my a...heheheh-hey! Whoa! Wasn't that great, kids?

Krusty

Song: Hens Love Roosters
Geese Love Ganders
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders
Homer: Not me!
Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!
Ned: Knock that off you two it's time for church!
Rod: We're not going to church today!
Ned: What? You give me one good reason!
Todd: It's Saturday.
Ned: Oakily doakily-doo!
Song: Hens Love Roosters
Geese Love Ganders
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders

Bart: What are you going to change your name to when you grow up?
Lisa: Lois Sanborn.
Bart: Steve Bennett.

Moe: I brought you a little present. (Gives Homer a can of beer)
Homer: No. Beer bring pain.
Barney: I can't stand to see him like this. (Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away)
Moe: He really needs a girlfriend.

TV Announcer: The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the rectum.
Homer: Mmm... beer.

I am interested in long-distance savings. Very interested.

Squeaky-Voiced Teen

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper.
Bart: D'oh!

Homer: You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.
Bart: TV Sucks.
Homer: I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that!