The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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I didn't do it!

Bart

Lisa: If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.
Bart: Obnoxious fad?
Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel--that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!

Bart: (Whistling Simpsons' Theme)
Marge: Bart, I've asked you not to whistle that annoying tune.
Bart: (Saluting and speaking German) Ja wohl, mein mamadant!

Don't listen to him, kid. This is a dream factory, the birthplace of magic, an enchantment! Now, I need you to go clean out my toilet.

Krusty

Lisa: Dad, maybe this will cheer you up. (plays song by blowing an empty bottle)
Homer: Oh! It doesn't work anymore.... I didn't say stop!

Homer: We'll be right back!
Kent Brockman: You don't get to say that!

(discussing the where-abouts of the buried treasure)
Homer: Nooo kidding?
Chief Wiggum: Big T, huh?
Homer: Well... I guess I'll be going to my home now and... sleep.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah... me too.... I will also go home.... for sleep.

Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea!
Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults a--
(Gun shot)
Moe: Whoops!
Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way--
(Gun shot)
Captain McCallister: Sorry!
(gun shot)
Principal Skinner: Uh oh!
(Gun shot)
Moe: Me again...
(Gun shot)
Bart: Sorry.

Lisa: We are insured, aren't we, Mom?
Marge: Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance.
Homer: Curse you magic beans!
Marge: Oh, stop blaming the beans.

Ned: Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos!
Homer: Can't talk, robbed, go Hell.

Bart: The burglar even took my stamp collection!
Lisa: You! Had a stamp collection!? (everybody laughs *phone rings*)
Nelson: Stamp collection!? Haha!

Homer: Okay, here's our new family security rules. Be home before dark, and make sure you're not followed. Lock all doors and windows.
Marge: And don't take candy from strangers.
Homer: Marge, they're only human!

Displaying quotes 277 - 288 of 624 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa