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Jeweler: Well, um, tell me something about [Evelyn]. What does she like?
Charlie: Hurting people!
Alan: Charlie... (back to the jeweler) It's a little hard to answer that because we have a bit of a strained relationship.
Jeweler: Oh, so you'd like to find a gift that would help bring you closer together.
Charlie and Alan: (shaking their heads and hands) Oh, no no... no.

Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes, Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes

Alan: We could tell her the truth: that she's just as toxic as her late friend and that that's the way she's going to be remembered.
Charlie: Are you on crack?
Alan: Maybe if she realized how people see her, she might make an effort to change.
Charlie: If she realized how people see her, she'd just... get new people

Jake: Yo, check out the bling!
Charlie: Jake, I'm not going to tell you again. You're a pasty, white kid. Start acting like one