Nightmares manifest themselves in various shapes and sizes on Jane the Virgin Season 5 Episode 4, including Rafael and Michael chasing Jane with massive cups of tea.

Yep, that explains the wedding dress scene we saw in spoilers!

It turns out, one of Jane's biggest nightmares isn't finding out her father wants to take her away from her family or being forced to jump off of a huge waterfall, it's losing Rafael.

And that's precisely what happened by the end of the hour. 

Similar to Michael, Rafael got his memories back and realized that this situation felt all too familiar.

We've been at the Michael vs. Rafael crossroads before a few seasons back, and as we all know, it didn't end well for Rafael. 

I'm focusing on Rafael regaining his memories before Michael because I feel like it's a significant turning point for the series. 

Up until now, it's always been Jane's way or no way. 

Related: Jane the Virgin Season 5 Episode 3 Review: Chapter Eighty-Four

Jane was in charge of her fate and thus, in charge of choosing which man would be the keeper of her heart. 

Both Michael and Rafael had to accept whatever decision she made and move on accordingly. 

At first, it was fine because she's the titular heroine, but as the series progressed, Michael and Raf's characters evolved.

They both became equally as important in the narrative as Jane, and we cared about their happiness just as much as we cared about hers. 

So seeing Rafael take destiny into his own hands flipped the switch and took some of the power away from Jane. 

Raf is putting himself, and most importantly, his mental health, first, much like Jane has all these years. 

And while it's heartbreaking for us Rafael fans to watch because we've been rooting for Jane and Raf, it's also necessary.

Rafael doesn't want to be keep being strung along and put on the backburner as 'second best.'

However, Rafael's decision was both very mature and immature at the same time as his insecurities heavily influenced it. 

Jane: Michael?
Michael: Hi Jane.
Jane: You remembered?
*Michael nodding*
Jane: Then why were you gunna leave?
Michael: I just, should. I only got off the bus cause I saw you almost get run over, and I decided, I probably shouldn't end things that way.
Jane: I don't understand.
Michael: It's been four years Jane. You have a life.

• Permalink: It's been four years Jane. You have a life.

He prematurely broke things off because he was protecting himself, but the decision almost takes away from the progress he's made to become this better version of himself. 

He's limiting his worth by believing he's still second-best and letting jealousy take over.

All Jane figured out was that she needed to explore her feelings for her newly resurrected husband, which is fair. 

Having your husband return from the dead is an unconventional situation. 

There's no rule book on how you're supposed to feel, how you're supposed to react, or how you should handle it. 

Jane has every right to feel confused by her emotions and every right to want to explore what they mean.  

I think she'll always love Michael, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's still in love with Michael. They are two very distinct emotions. 

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But it's been four years since they have had any contact. How is she supposed to know what their new normal is?

Then, there's the fact that they aren't the same people they were when he walked out the door for the seemingly last time. 

Michael is no longer just Michael.

Upon getting his memories back, Michael is now a mixture of his old self and Jason. 

As he put it, it's like he's two people in one body. 

There's no telling if Michael and Jane will still be as head over heels for each other as they once were, or if they've grown too much in the past four years to assimilate into their old lifestyle.

Bottom line is they won't know until they spend some time together. 

Despite her relationship with Rafael, she owes Michael that much considering he's still her husband.  

It's unfortunate that Raf keeps getting caught up in a love triangle, but in this situation, he could be a little bit more understanding while also taking precautions not to fall into a dark void if she ends up choosing Michael.

Since he's the one that brought Michael back in the first place, he had to have assumed feelings of some sort would bubble up again. Why is he so blindsided by all of it?

While I'll always encourage Raf to take care of himself, a little bit of understanding could have remedied their situation. Why can't he just put himself in her shoes? 

Rafael: Do you still love him?
Jane: I don't know.
Rafael: That feels like an answer. You know, I got my memories back too, Jane. You know what I remember? Waiting for you to pick Michael almost killed me. I need you to leave.
Jane: Permanently?
Rafael: I don't know.
Narrator: And friends, that too felt like an answer.

• Permalink: And friends, that too felt like an answer.

In the end, it all boils down to which man Jane need at this point in her life? Where is her mindset right now? With whom does she see a future?

I think Rafael wins the battle not because I ship them, but because he fits who she is now; they've evolved together, they've created new memories, and they've started a promising life together. 

Rafael has proven over and over again that he's worth being loved as the first and only choice. 

The very scene when he comes to the hospital with clothes for Xo, coffee for Rogelio, and offering a ride to Alba so that Jane can spend time with her mom shows how devoted he is to Jane. 

No wonder this has been so hard on him. 

As predicted, when Michael's memory floodgates opened, he decided to skip town without telling Jane. 

That's about the most Michael choice that he made this season.  

Part of me wishes he had, but staying was worth it even if only to see her make her way to the bus depot riding a scooter while sporting heels. 

However, when Jane locked eyes with him in the cab, she knew the "real" Michael was back. 

But is he? Yes, Michael remembers all the good times with Jane, that was evident by the hours they spent talking and catching up, but as mentioned, he's still not the same Michael. 

He doesn't even like the taste of Cubanos anymore. 

It's possible that the only thing Jane and Michael still have between them is memories. 

Related: Jane the Virgin: Is Mateo Sr. Alive?

Personally, Michael seemed so different to me, and though I tried to embrace how cute it was too see them genuinely laugh together again, I didn't feel the same way I once did about them as a couple. 

Something was off or missing, but I couldn't shake Rafael and all that they've accomplished together as a couple. 

Michael has lived four years of a Jane-less live during which he's grown into a completely different man.

I don't think he's just going to assume his old lifestyle and forget about Montana, his boys on the ranch, and whatever else he did out there. 

I've been curious to see Michael's life as Jason, so hopefully, we'll head to Montana to truly understand who he is now and how much he doesn't fit into Jane's life anymore. 

So, while I do think Raf is the best choice for Jane, going with the theory that the series is about learning to choose yourself, I think Jane's going to lose them both. 

How many times can the same three people hash the same triangle out? Sooner or later, Raf and Michael will have had enough of Jane's indecisiveness. 

There's such a considerable focus on the love triangle at hand that it'd be easy to overlook all the other characters. Yet Xo's story is just as crucial, if not more so, than Jane, Raf, and Michael's. 

Xo's reason for wanting to get back on her feet, to look sexy and attend grandparent's day was so that Mateo wouldn't remember her as a sickly and weak woman. 

It broke my heart. 

Seeing them dance together was adorable, but I knew it wasn't going to end well. 

Thankfully, Xo didn't go through a relapse; she was just dehydrated and overexerted herself.

Jane, stop sending me to voicemail. Look, JR wrote me back and she said, "I miss you too, but that doesn't change anything." Call me back to discuss how to respond.

Petra

• Permalink: Jane, stop sending me to voicemail. Look, JR wrote me back and she said, "I miss you too, but...

The show creator, Jennie Snyder Urman, teased that the final season would have a pregnancy, a marriage, and a death.

Actually, she teased many deaths, which isn't reassuring. 

Xo's death is the most likely, and since it's the most obvious, every time I see her on screen, I'm just waiting for the bad news to hit me like a wrecking ball. 

But I hope she gets spared and they take Magda instead. 

Why is she back?

We don't want her, and there's no reason to keep bringing her back into the fold. 

She can take her fortune telling elsewhere. 

As it stands now, I'm predicting JR and Petra will get hitched considering they are the most stable relationship at the moment. 

Their breakup was short-lived after Petra's butt dial, and subsequent romance novel-like text messages managed to woo JR back into her arms.

But again, as with Michael, I'm getting some weird vibes from JR.

How much do we know about JR? Maybe she's not as innocent as she's been letting on?

I'd hate to think someone is taking advantage of Petra, but I don't trust anyone on this show anymore! 

Jane: Dad, what do you think?
Rogelio: Well, I always thought I was Team Michael, but I do love Rafael as well so I no longer feel comfortable expressing my opinion.
Jane: Really? This is the moment you choose not to have an opinion?

• Permalink: Really? This is the moment you choose not to have an opinion?

Thankfully, Petra has someone in which she can turn and confide. Chasing down Jane with 9-1-1 texts while she's dealing with Michael's return and her mother's cancer was dramatic, but expected from Petra. 

Seeing the two of them get drunk, laugh, and make rash life decisions was probably my favorite moment this season. 

They are hilarious when they get drunk together! 

The best and healthiest scenes always happen when Jane and Petra get together and become vulnerable with each other. I wouldn't be mad if these two ended being best friend endgame. 

As for the pregnancy prediction, I'm thinking it will be Jane finding out she's pregnant with Raf's baby from before Michael returned. I know he's technically unable to have children, but if Michael can come back from the dead, anything is possible. 

Marbella Musings

• Is there anything scarier and funnier than Petra as an old lady begging her children to buy her lottery tickets?
   
• What the hell was up with that scene and the parrot? Is that some kind of Sin Rostro clue?
   
• Why haven't we heard anything on the Luisa or Sin Rostro front?
   
• Alba needs to get a better love interest. She's such a babe, she doesn't deserve to be fawning over Jorge and then heartbroken that he doesn't have feelings for her. Thank you, next. 
   
• Rogelio wondering if Michael asked about him and still loved him was a classic Rogelio moment. 
   
• Petra is the queen of leaving voicemails. "Call me back to discuss how to respond" is my new go-to phrase! 
   
• I hope Mateo doesn't resent Jane after this. That ending scene didn't look too comforting. 

Jane the Virgin Season 5 has been very difficult to watch for Michael and Rafael shippers alike. 

Aside from a few moments that provide comedic relief, it almost feels as heavy as Jane's decision

What makes Jane's choice so tricky is that she's choosing between two men with unique redeeming qualities who love her madly. It's not a bad problem to have, but it's also not an easy one. 

I guess whoever she picks, we'll be supportive, but man, this isn't an easy journey. 

What do you think, TV Fanatics?

Is Michael the same man Jane fell in love with long ago? Did you feel the sparks?

Did Rafael make the right choice about protecting his heart?

Catch up and watch Jane the Virgin online, and comment me your wedding, pregnancy, and death predictions! 

Lizzy Buczak was a staff writer for TV Fanatic. She retired in June 2021..