Stewie:[about India]: Ah, I tell you, I love it here, Brian. The sounds. The colors. You know this is where the Beatles came to ruin their music.

• Permalink: Ah, I tell you, I love it here, Brian. The sounds. The colors. You know this is where the...
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Joe, gag on my fat dauber.

Peter

• Permalink: Joe, gag on my fat dauber.
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Stewie: Oh, Padma, I meant to ask you, are there, like, Bengal tigers running loose in the cities?
Padma: I don't know. In America, are there annoying, talking babies always interrupting?

• Permalink: I don't know. In America, are there annoying, talking babies always interrupting?
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Stewie: A peck on the cheek? Was that worth an $8000 coach ticket?
Brian: You know what? It's about the journey, not the destination.
Stewie: No, it's not. This sucked, and you failed.

• Permalink: No, it's not. This sucked, and you failed.
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Joe: You and the gang? I'm the one who brought you here.
Peter: Yeah, well, you know something? The Mayflower also brought fungus which then became the potato famine.
Joe: What the hell are you talking about?
Peter: I don't know. I had like about four Ensures. I'm outta my mind.

• Permalink: I don't know. I had like about four Ensures. I'm outta my mind.
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Brian [after getting off a very crowded bus]: What I wouldn't do for a big, juicy steak.
Indian guy: How dare you! To us, cows are sacred.
Indian guy #2: That's right. You are disrespecting our entire culture!
Indian guy #3: And why did Wes Anderson come here to make his worst movie?
Brian: Stewie! What do we do!?
Stewie: Quick. Hit the red buttons.
[He and Brian press the red dots on the Indian men's foreheads and they power down.]
Brian: Wow. That came in handy.

• Permalink: Wow. That came in handy.
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Hey, don't try to take this away from me. This is the only thing I've ever been good at. Well, this and timing my farts to a thunderstorm.

Peter

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Peter: Family Guy has been around since 1999 and whenever it's time for the Emmy's they never give us one. I'm sick of it.
Lois: Well, I'm not making another episode with The Simpsons. What did that get us? I'll tell you what that got us. More ink for The Simpsons.

• Permalink: Well, I'm not making another episode with The Simpsons. What did that get us? I'll tell you...
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Griffins let's make this an Emmy-winning episode, so get all your pukes and farts out now.

Peter

• Permalink: Griffins let's make this an Emmy-winning episode, so get all your pukes and farts out now.
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The ethnic characters on these Emmy-winning shows aren't exactly rocket scientists are they?

Peter

• Permalink: The ethnic characters on these Emmy-winning shows aren't exactly rocket scientists are they?
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Peter: You guys aren't supporting my choice?
Quagmire: What do you expect, Peter? A sex change operation? Why you doing this?
Peter: I'll tell you why I'm doing all of this. For me. M.E. M.E. I'm doing it for M.E.

• Permalink: I'll tell you why I'm doing all of this. For me. M.E. M.E. I'm doing it for M.E.
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Like all television viewers, our first priority before deciding to continue watching a show should be whether or not it features enough diversity.

Female TV Viewer

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