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Stewie is Little Miss Texas
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 15
"Boys Do Cry"
Original Air Date:

Lois gets a job as the Church organist and the family starts going to Church again. After getting sick at communion, the Church assumes Stewie is the devil and they chase him to Texas.

Peter's Restaurant
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 14
"No Meals On Wheels"
Original Air Date:

The Griffins open their own restaurant, but when it fails to attract customers, Joe offers to bring his friends by.

Bill Clinton on Family Guy
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 13
"Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey"
Original Air Date:

Peter helps Bill Clinton fix his flat tire and soon the two become best friends. Meanwhile, Lois and Stewie try to potty-train Brian.

Hugh Hefner on Family Guy
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 12
"Airport '07"
Original Air Date:

When Peter has to drive Quagmire to work, he gets the poor guy fired. Quagmire gets some advice from his mentor, Hugh Hefner.

Tan Stewie
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 11
"The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou"
Original Air Date:

When a bully picks on Chris, he goes to Peter for help, who ends up beating the kid senseless. Meanwhile, when Stewie goes out without sunscreen and accidentally gets a tan, he becomes obsessed with tanning.

Peter and His Irish Father
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 10
"Peter's Two Dads"
Original Air Date:

After Peter's father, Francis dies, Thelma tells Peter that his real father is in Ireland. Meanwhile, Lois spanks Stewie when he misbehaves.

Road to Rupert Picture
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 9
"Road to Rupert"
Original Air Date:

Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale and has to take an upset Stewie cross-country to Colorado to find the stuffed animal. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license and forces Meg to drive him around.

Barely Legal Picture
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 8
"Barely Legal"
Original Air Date:

Meg can't find a date to junior prom, so Brian takes her. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police and end up helping Brian.

Double Date
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 7
"Chick Cancer"
Original Air Date:

Stewie marries his old flame, Olivia, and their marriage quickly turns dull. Meanwhile, Lois makes Peter watch chick flicks, so he decides to make his own.

Lois Teaches Sex Ed
Watch Family Guy Season 5 Episode 6
"Prick Up Your Ears"
Original Air Date:

Lois discovers that the school has been teaching Chris incorrect things about sex, so she volunteers to teach the sex-ed class. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes terrified of the tooth fairy and sets traps to catch her.

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Family Guy Quotes

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)