Quotables for the Week Ending Nov. 5, 2016

In this crazy television world in which we live, we had several debuts this week, including the return of The Librarians and Elementary and the series premiere of Ash vs Evil Dead.
Elsewhere, snark seems to be the tone as many characters were dripping with it, from Gibbs on NCIS, Eastman on The Walking Dead and Cisco on The Flash.
Scroll through the slideshow to see what else was said throughout the week! Don't forget to share it with your friends!
1. The Librarians

Shakespeare had a friend who was a wizard?! Kinda buried the lede there.
Eve
2. Blue Bloods

Reverend Potter: I've been waiting a long time for this. Frank Reagan coming to me hat in hand.
Frank: I don't wear hats.
3. Supergirl

Every woman worth her salt knows that we have to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good.
Cat
4. Ash vs Evil Dead

The first thing I gotta do is see a man about a book. There must be some spell I can say to undo all this. The other first thing I gotta do is some cardio, my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.
Ash
5. Scandal

Liz: This. This isn't you. You're a weasly little troll, and I don't like you, and I don't respect you, and I think you're pathetic.
David: Is there a point here, or...
6. Hawaii Five-0

It’s filthy, good grief; he must have killed the maid too.
Grover
7. Doctor Who

Any living thing in this world, including my family and friends could turn into a Zygon and kill me. Any second now. It's not paranoia when it's real.
Walsh
8. Homeland

Dar Adal: You have a working theory?
Allison: Somebody betrayed us.
Dar Adal: Ya think?
9. Gotham

Guys like Galavan are born on third base. Stealing homeplate is practically a birth right.
Bullock
10. Quantico

I'll be sneaky. I promise. It's not like we both didn't learn how, right?
Simon
11. The Good Wife

Cary: And I've heard you more than once joke about the pole stuck up Diane's ass.
Diane: Excuse me?
12. The Walking Dead

Eastman: What’s your name?
Morgan: Kill me.
Eastman: That’s a stupid name. It’s dangerous, you should change it.
13. The Grinder

Dean: These women don't want to make love to me, they want to have a filthy one night stand with the Grinder so they can tell their friends about it.
Stewart: What a nightmare that must be for you.
14. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Rebecca: The new me is making healthier choices.
Greg: You sound like that weird butter commercial.
15. Scorpion

Toby: I just need Happy to see me in a more manly, less academic light.
Cabe: You want more manly? Lose the hat already. And if Happy were interested in you, she would have been there.
16. The Leftovers

My wife woke up the first night we arrived in your town. It's the only time in over three years she's talked to me and there may be no way to prove it, but it happened, and I won't ever say it didn't. I don't want your wristband. Mary found hers, so she's back where she belongs. I have no doubt that she's going to wake up again soon, and when she does, I'm going to come back, and you and I will have a talk.
Matt
17. Major Crimes

I'm not allowed to ask the DA if my son can interview a murder suspect.
Sharon
18. The Big Bang Theory

Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.
19. The Vampire Diaries

Alaric: She's been sleeping for 12 hours. That's normal, right?
Bonnie: Yesterday she was dead. Today she's alive. I'm not sure normal applies.
20. Fargo

Lou: There's a look a boy gets when he's been shot or a landmine takes off his legs. And he's laying there in the mud, trying to get up. 'Cuz he doesn't feel it yet. His brain hasn't caught up with the reality which is, he's already dead
Peggy: Ed... he's scaring me.
Lou: But we see it. The rest of us. And we lie. We say, "Lay still. You're gonna be fine." If you'd been to war, you'd know the look. See, you and Peggy... you got the look. You still think it's Tuesday. You have no idea what's coming.
21. Jane the Virgin

Michael: You okay?
Petra: Just a little nauseous.
Michael: Yeah, probably karma.
22. Awkward

Lacey: What are you doing home? Is it over? Oh my God. Did prom burn down?
Jenna: No, just my night.
23. Elementary

Justice is like an orgasm. It can never come too late.
Sherlock
24. Arrow

I'm sorry about what happened to Thea. I really am. I love your family, I always have. I just wish that sometimes you would give a damn about mine.
Laurel
25. Wicked City

Nothing goes with chocolate chip pancakes like anal contusions.
Allison Roth
26. The Flash

You know, our Dr. Wells may have been evil, but you're just a dick.
Cisco
27. iZombie

So far it sounds like all of our problems could be solved with condoms and rock salt.
Major
28. Chicago Fire

Casey: Will, do everything you can for the baby. If it comes down to a choice, you save my girl.
Will: Matt, truth time, when I'm in there she's the only one I'm trying to save.
29. Limitless

Life goes by really fast. If you don't stop to look around sometimes, you could miss it.
Brian
30. NCIS

Gibbs: Who are you?
Lyle: I'm Lyle.
Gibbs: Shut up, Lyle
31. NCIS: New Orleans

Brody: Still haven't said why you're in tow. Hovercraft conference, invisibility cloak expo?
Olivia: So close, but you know I don't work for Hogwarts anymore.
32. Scream Queens

Why do you have NINE tampons? How big is your cooch?!
Chanel
33. Rosewood

Everyone you interact with loves you. It drives me nuts.
Hornstock
34. Empire

Andre: You put me in charge.
Lucious: No, I put you in place. Don't confuse the two.
35. Law & Order: SVU

With all due respect, this was not an immaculate conception.
Benson
36. Madam Secretary

So, he's done picking up weapons at the Pentagon, and he doesn't have any lunch plans?
Sec. Elizabeth McCord