Quotables for the Week Ending Nov. 5, 2016Carissa Pavlica at .
In this crazy television world in which we live, we had several debuts this week, including the return of The Librarians and Elementary and the series premiere of Ash vs Evil Dead.
Elsewhere, snark seems to be the tone as many characters were dripping with it, from Gibbs on NCIS, Eastman on The Walking Dead and Cisco on The Flash.
Scroll through the slideshow to see what else was said throughout the week! Don't forget to share it with your friends!
1. The Librarians
Shakespeare had a friend who was a wizard?! Kinda buried the lede there.Eve
2. Blue Bloods
Reverend Potter: I've been waiting a long time for this. Frank Reagan coming to me hat in hand.
Frank: I don't wear hats.
Every woman worth her salt knows that we have to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good.Cat
4. Ash vs Evil Dead
The first thing I gotta do is see a man about a book. There must be some spell I can say to undo all this. The other first thing I gotta do is some cardio, my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.Ash
Liz: This. This isn't you. You're a weasly little troll, and I don't like you, and I don't respect you, and I think you're pathetic.
David: Is there a point here, or...
6. Hawaii Five-0
It’s filthy, good grief; he must have killed the maid too.Grover
7. Doctor Who
Any living thing in this world, including my family and friends could turn into a Zygon and kill me. Any second now. It's not paranoia when it's real.Walsh
Dar Adal: You have a working theory?
Allison: Somebody betrayed us.
Dar Adal: Ya think?
Guys like Galavan are born on third base. Stealing homeplate is practically a birth right.Bullock
I'll be sneaky. I promise. It's not like we both didn't learn how, right?Simon
11. The Good Wife
Cary: And I've heard you more than once joke about the pole stuck up Diane's ass.
Diane: Excuse me?
12. The Walking Dead
Eastman: What’s your name?
Morgan: Kill me.
Eastman: That’s a stupid name. It’s dangerous, you should change it.
13. The Grinder
Dean: These women don't want to make love to me, they want to have a filthy one night stand with the Grinder so they can tell their friends about it.
Stewart: What a nightmare that must be for you.
14. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Rebecca: The new me is making healthier choices.
Greg: You sound like that weird butter commercial.
Toby: I just need Happy to see me in a more manly, less academic light.
Cabe: You want more manly? Lose the hat already. And if Happy were interested in you, she would have been there.
16. The Leftovers
My wife woke up the first night we arrived in your town. It's the only time in over three years she's talked to me and there may be no way to prove it, but it happened, and I won't ever say it didn't. I don't want your wristband. Mary found hers, so she's back where she belongs. I have no doubt that she's going to wake up again soon, and when she does, I'm going to come back, and you and I will have a talk.Matt
17. Major Crimes
I'm not allowed to ask the DA if my son can interview a murder suspect.Sharon
18. The Big Bang Theory
Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.
19. The Vampire Diaries
Alaric: She's been sleeping for 12 hours. That's normal, right?
Bonnie: Yesterday she was dead. Today she's alive. I'm not sure normal applies.
Lou: There's a look a boy gets when he's been shot or a landmine takes off his legs. And he's laying there in the mud, trying to get up. 'Cuz he doesn't feel it yet. His brain hasn't caught up with the reality which is, he's already dead
Peggy: Ed... he's scaring me.
Lou: But we see it. The rest of us. And we lie. We say, "Lay still. You're gonna be fine." If you'd been to war, you'd know the look. See, you and Peggy... you got the look. You still think it's Tuesday. You have no idea what's coming.
21. Jane the Virgin
Michael: You okay?
Petra: Just a little nauseous.
Michael: Yeah, probably karma.
Lacey: What are you doing home? Is it over? Oh my God. Did prom burn down?
Jenna: No, just my night.
Justice is like an orgasm. It can never come too late.Sherlock
I'm sorry about what happened to Thea. I really am. I love your family, I always have. I just wish that sometimes you would give a damn about mine.Laurel
25. Wicked City
Nothing goes with chocolate chip pancakes like anal contusions.Allison Roth
26. The Flash
You know, our Dr. Wells may have been evil, but you're just a dick.Cisco
So far it sounds like all of our problems could be solved with condoms and rock salt.Major
28. Chicago Fire
Casey: Will, do everything you can for the baby. If it comes down to a choice, you save my girl.
Will: Matt, truth time, when I'm in there she's the only one I'm trying to save.
Life goes by really fast. If you don't stop to look around sometimes, you could miss it.Brian
Gibbs: Who are you?
Lyle: I'm Lyle.
Gibbs: Shut up, Lyle
31. NCIS: New Orleans
Brody: Still haven't said why you're in tow. Hovercraft conference, invisibility cloak expo?
Olivia: So close, but you know I don't work for Hogwarts anymore.
32. Scream Queens
Why do you have NINE tampons? How big is your cooch?!Chanel
Everyone you interact with loves you. It drives me nuts.Hornstock
Andre: You put me in charge.
Lucious: No, I put you in place. Don't confuse the two.
35. Law & Order: SVU
With all due respect, this was not an immaculate conception.Benson
36. Madam Secretary
So, he's done picking up weapons at the Pentagon, and he doesn't have any lunch plans?Sec. Elizabeth McCord