Quotables for the Week Ending Nov. 5, 2016

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In this crazy television world in which we live, we had several debuts this week, including the return of The Librarians and Elementary and the series premiere of Ash vs Evil Dead. 

Elsewhere, snark seems to be the tone as many characters were dripping with it, from Gibbs on NCIS, Eastman on The Walking Dead and Cisco on The Flash.

Scroll through the slideshow to see what else was said throughout the week! Don't forget to share it with your friends!

1. The Librarians

Finding the staff the librarians

Shakespeare had a friend who was a wizard?! Kinda buried the lede there.

Eve
Shakespeare had a friend who was a wizard?! Kinda buried the lede there.

2. Blue Bloods

Restricted duty blue bloods

Reverend Potter: I've been waiting a long time for this. Frank Reagan coming to me hat in hand.
Frank: I don't wear hats.

Reverend Potter: I've been waiting a long time for this. Frank Reagan coming to me hat in hand. Frank: I don't wear hats.

3. Supergirl

Supergirl stronger together

Every woman worth her salt knows that we have to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good.

Cat
Every woman worth her salt knows that we have to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good.

4. Ash vs Evil Dead

Evil dead trio ash vs evil dead

The first thing I gotta do is see a man about a book. There must be some spell I can say to undo all this. The other first thing I gotta do is some cardio, my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.

Ash
The first thing I gotta do is see a man about a book. There must be some spell I can say to undo all this. The other first thing I gotta...

5. Scandal

Game on for olivia scandal

Liz: This. This isn't you. You're a weasly little troll, and I don't like you, and I don't respect you, and I think you're pathetic.
David: Is there a point here, or...

Liz: This. This isn't you. You're a weasly little troll, and I don't like you, and I don't respect you, and I think you're pathetic....

6. Hawaii Five-0

Finding grace hawaii five 0

It’s filthy, good grief; he must have killed the maid too.

Grover
It’s filthy, good grief; he must have killed the maid too.

7. Doctor Who

The return of osgood doctor who

Any living thing in this world, including my family and friends could turn into a Zygon and kill me. Any second now. It's not paranoia when it's real.

Walsh
Any living thing in this world, including my family and friends could turn into a Zygon and kill me. Any second now. It's not paranoia...

8. Homeland

Carrie and saul homeland

Dar Adal: You have a working theory?
Allison: Somebody betrayed us.
Dar Adal: Ya think?

  • Permalink: Ya think?
  • Added:
Dar Adal: You have a working theory? Allison: Somebody betrayed us. Dar Adal: Ya think?

9. Gotham

Penguin and his crew gotham

Guys like Galavan are born on third base. Stealing homeplate is practically a birth right.

Bullock
Guys like Galavan are born on third base. Stealing homeplate is practically a birth right.

10. Quantico

Surveillance quantico

I'll be sneaky. I promise. It's not like we both didn't learn how, right?

Simon
I'll be sneaky. I promise. It's not like we both didn't learn how, right?

11. The Good Wife

Florrick family drama the good wife

Cary: And I've heard you more than once joke about the pole stuck up Diane's ass.
Diane: Excuse me?

Cary: And I've heard you more than once joke about the pole stuck up Diane's ass. Diane: Excuse me?

12. The Walking Dead

A new face the walking dead

Eastman: What’s your name?
Morgan: Kill me.
Eastman: That’s a stupid name. It’s dangerous, you should change it.

Eastman: What’s your name? Morgan: Kill me. Eastman: That’s a stupid name. It’s dangerous, you should change it.

13. The Grinder

Faith in romance the grinder

Dean: These women don't want to make love to me, they want to have a filthy one night stand with the Grinder so they can tell their friends about it.
Stewart: What a nightmare that must be for you.

Dean: These women don't want to make love to me, they want to have a filthy one night stand with the Grinder so they can tell their...

14. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

The nice guy crazy ex girlfriend

Rebecca: The new me is making healthier choices.
Greg: You sound like that weird butter commercial.

Rebecca: The new me is making healthier choices. Greg: You sound like that weird butter commercial.

15. Scorpion

Runaway train scorpion

Toby: I just need Happy to see me in a more manly, less academic light.
Cabe: You want more manly? Lose the hat already. And if Happy were interested in you, she would have been there.

Toby: I just need Happy to see me in a more manly, less academic light. Cabe: You want more manly? Lose the hat already. And if Happy...

16. The Leftovers

Leaving town the leftovers

My wife woke up the first night we arrived in your town. It's the only time in over three years she's talked to me and there may be no way to prove it, but it happened, and I won't ever say it didn't. I don't want your wristband. Mary found hers, so she's back where she belongs. I have no doubt that she's going to wake up again soon, and when she does, I'm going to come back, and you and I will have a talk.

Matt
My wife woke up the first night we arrived in your town. It's the only time in over three years she's talked to me and there may be no...

17. Major Crimes

Left for dead major crimes

I'm not allowed to ask the DA if my son can interview a murder suspect.

Sharon
I'm not allowed to ask the DA if my son can interview a murder suspect.

18. The Big Bang Theory

The spock documentary the big bang theory

Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.

Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids? Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.

19. The Vampire Diaries

Bonnie on the prowl the vampire diaries s7e5

Alaric: She's been sleeping for 12 hours. That's normal, right?
Bonnie: Yesterday she was dead. Today she's alive. I'm not sure normal applies.

Alaric: She's been sleeping for 12 hours. That's normal, right? Bonnie: Yesterday she was dead. Today she's alive. I'm not sure normal...

20. Fargo

Floyd responds fargo

Lou: There's a look a boy gets when he's been shot or a landmine takes off his legs. And he's laying there in the mud, trying to get up. 'Cuz he doesn't feel it yet. His brain hasn't caught up with the reality which is, he's already dead
Peggy: Ed... he's scaring me.
Lou: But we see it. The rest of us. And we lie. We say, "Lay still. You're gonna be fine." If you'd been to war, you'd know the look. See, you and Peggy... you got the look. You still think it's Tuesday. You have no idea what's coming.

Lou: There's a look a boy gets when he's been shot or a landmine takes off his legs. And he's laying there in the mud, trying to get up....

21. Jane the Virgin

Jane struggles jane the virgin

Michael: You okay?
Petra: Just a little nauseous.
Michael: Yeah, probably karma.

Michael: You okay? Petra: Just a little nauseous. Michael: Yeah, probably karma.

22. Awkward

Slip and fall awkward

Lacey: What are you doing home? Is it over? Oh my God. Did prom burn down?
Jenna: No, just my night.

Lacey: What are you doing home? Is it over? Oh my God. Did prom burn down? Jenna: No, just my night.

23. Elementary

Holmes father elementary

Justice is like an orgasm. It can never come too late.

Sherlock
Justice is like an orgasm. It can never come too late.

24. Arrow

Angry oliver arrow s4e5

I'm sorry about what happened to Thea. I really am. I love your family, I always have. I just wish that sometimes you would give a damn about mine.

Laurel
I'm sorry about what happened to Thea. I really am. I love your family, I always have. I just wish that sometimes you would give a damn...

25. Wicked City

Next victim wicked city

Nothing goes with chocolate chip pancakes like anal contusions.

Allison Roth
Nothing goes with chocolate chip pancakes like anal contusions.

26. The Flash

Lighting up the room the flash s2e5

You know, our Dr. Wells may have been evil, but you're just a dick.

Cisco
You know, our Dr. Wells may have been evil, but you're just a dick.

27. iZombie

Girls night izombie s2e5

So far it sounds like all of our problems could be solved with condoms and rock salt.

Major
So far it sounds like all of our problems could be solved with condoms and rock salt.

28. Chicago Fire

The arson investigation chicago fire

Casey: Will, do everything you can for the baby. If it comes down to a choice, you save my girl.
Will: Matt, truth time, when I'm in there she's the only one I'm trying to save.

Casey: Will, do everything you can for the baby. If it comes down to a choice, you save my girl. Will: Matt, truth time, when I'm in...

29. Limitless

The cia borrows brian limitless

Life goes by really fast. If you don't stop to look around sometimes, you could miss it.

Brian
Life goes by really fast. If you don't stop to look around sometimes, you could miss it.

30. NCIS

Cold cases ncis

Gibbs: Who are you?
Lyle: I'm Lyle.
Gibbs: Shut up, Lyle

Gibbs: Who are you? Lyle: I'm Lyle. Gibbs: Shut up, Lyle

31. NCIS: New Orleans

A stolen heart ncis new orleans

Brody: Still haven't said why you're in tow. Hovercraft conference, invisibility cloak expo?
Olivia: So close, but you know I don't work for Hogwarts anymore.

Brody: Still haven't said why you're in tow. Hovercraft conference, invisibility cloak expo? Olivia: So close, but you know I don't work...

32. Scream Queens

Beyond the grave scream queens

Why do you have NINE tampons? How big is your cooch?!

Chanel
Why do you have NINE tampons? How big is your cooch?!

33. Rosewood

Suspected of murder rosewood

Everyone you interact with loves you. It drives me nuts.

Hornstock
Everyone you interact with loves you. It drives me nuts.

34. Empire

Allow me to speak empire s2e6

Andre: You put me in charge.
Lucious: No, I put you in place. Don't confuse the two.

Andre: You put me in charge. Lucious: No, I put you in place. Don't confuse the two.

35. Law & Order: SVU

Family secrets law and order svu

With all due respect, this was not an immaculate conception.

Benson
With all due respect, this was not an immaculate conception.

36. Madam Secretary

A power grab madam secretary

So, he's done picking up weapons at the Pentagon, and he doesn't have any lunch plans?

Sec. Elizabeth McCord
So, he's done picking up weapons at the Pentagon, and he doesn't have any lunch plans?

Wait! There's more Quotables for the Week Ending Nov. 5, 2016! Just click "Next" below:

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Tags:
TV Quotes, Photo Galleries, Multi-Show
Shows:
Blue Bloods, Supergirl, Ash vs Evil Dead, Hawaii Five-0, The Leftovers, Doctor Who, Homeland, The Affair, Once Upon a Time, Gotham, Quantico, Madam Secretary, The Good Wife, The Walking Dead, The Librarians, The Grinder, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Scorpion, Major Crimes, Fargo, Jane the Virgin, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Awkward, Arrow, Wicked City, The Flash, iZombie, Chicago Fire, The Bastard Executioner, Limitless, NCIS, NCIS: New Orleans, Scream Queens, Rosewood, Empire, Law & Order: SVU, You're the Worst, Chicago PD, The Mysteries of Laura, American Horror Story, Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Code Black, The Vampire Diaries, Bones, The Big Bang Theory, Grey's Anatomy, How to Get Away with Murder, Haven, Scandal, The Blacklist, Elementary
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TV Quotes Quotes

Buy the dip. Short the VIX. Fuck Bitcoin.

Gus

Jacob, you screw up in a lot of the missions, and you go unnoticed. And no one ever points the finger at you, and I’m pointing the finger at you right now. So, I’m calling a spade a spade, I don’t trust you. And my gut is telling me that you’re the shithole Mole.

Joi