Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


I tried watching a few of the episodes last season but never could get past the first commercial break. Seems like Berta will say something to make me think of the Charlie years and I find myself watching the syndicated episodes with Charlie Sheen I record while working for later viewing or switch over to one of the old TV program stions. I cannot stand that Walden character nor what the Alan character has become. Tonite after enjoying Big Bang Theory as the lead in for 2 and 1/2 aired I switched to AntennaTV for a Maude rerun. Occasionally I get to see Sheen's new series if a friend withDish records it for me and it is good They probably couldn't get Charlie Sheen back now if they wanted to but it would be nice if they could erase the Walden shark jump as a dream sequence , amnesia or whatever to bring Charlie back. Oh well there's enough seasons of Charlie Sheen episodes available in syndication and on DVD to let the new 2 1/2 die a slow painful death or whatever as I enjoy the good episodes of the show. I just hope they don't go killing off any of the cast of Big Bang Theory.


Absolutely pathetic since Charlie Sheen has been fired! Ashton Kutcher is TERRIBLE! this show used to be my favourite, one of the funniest on TV! the Writing was so funny and clever, WHAT HAPPENED???
Ashton Kutcher please do us and yourself a favour and just quit. Charlie Sheen was the heart of the show and the writers used to do a incredible job! now jokes are about Ashton Kutcher playing with a man in a monkey suit, dancing like a retarded and stupid, dull lines! And what with that relationship with that super annoying Zoey??? Charlie used to be a drunk, gambler and chasing women, now we have a retarded boring billionaire in a relationship with an annoying women... GREAT!!! the Old cast is alright but again they were great before and had a great interactions with charlie, now they dont seem to be from the same world with Kutcher.
Lets face it The chemistry is broken, it's time to cancel this mess!


The show sucks without Charlie ! What was Lorre even thinking ? What a shame, the show will never be the same


People are saying that 2 1/2 men sucks now...but it was never good to begin with.


This show without charlie needs to just end. Its like american dad without stan. Ashton is a terrible actor, and less of a comedian!!!! CBS keeps saying its the number one show...Ha thats funny..smh. The public is not stupid please stop airing this TRASH!!! I bought all the old seasons and that type of talent can not be replaced. BRING BACK THE ORIGINALS OR JUST KILL IT ALREADY!!


Can you believe this used to be my favorite show. Now I cannot stand it.
Ashton Kutcher is no good, all I think of when I see him is that
he broke Demi's heart.And not believable in this part. And as to that boy,
Please bring back that baby faced kid..
he was so cute..!!
No one can do this part like Charlie.. and do you know why?
Because he was a natural !!
I will watch only reruns with the Charlie in them !


Always watched 2&1/2 men prior to the departure of charlie sheen. Not the same show, even with the talents of jon cryer & conchata farrell ! Ashton kutcher is simply not funny, and his '70's shaggy haircut not attractive! Won't waste my time viewing this mess. No matter what i've really loved charlie sheen from red dawn, major league, and hot shots days to "men" ! Will watch his new show in support. He always delivers in his roles. Can't say the same for kutcher. Put 2& 1/2 men down like the dog it now is; hasta la vista, charlie! !


Essa e 10 jake e tao fofinho e clrahei garanhao e de mais tb . Alan tb tem seu bons momentos e Evelyn e a melhor mulher da serie de Homem acho JAKE e elle tao lindinhooo .(L)


I cant understand why Rob Lowe wouldnt have been asked to fill Charlies shoes, a brother Charlie didnt know about who behaves the same wiuldve been a cynch with Lowe as the replacement! Instead they strayed from the formula and paid the penalty.


It really sucks, If that guy is a billionaire and he wanted to get rid of allen, he would buy him a beach house and end the story line right there.This used to be a clever show, its so dumb now with kushter

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.