Two and a Half Men Review: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

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On what was likely the most-watched episode of Two and a Half Men in history, people tuned in to the season nine premiere for one reason: to meet Ashton Kutcher's Walden Schmidt.

Ashton Kutcher as Walden Schmidt

But before we even get there, I want to discuss the star-studded opening, starting with the ex-girlfriend ladden funeral.

From old flames such as Courtney (Jenny McCarthy) and Mia to more recent women like Chelsea and even her friend, Sherri (Jeri Ryan), thy were all there. It was vintage Two and a Half Men humor, right on down to Evelyn trying to sell the house at the funeral.

Back at the house during the second act, we still had the entire supporting cast, including Berta and Evelyn and going right on down to Judith and Herb. And that's before the celebrity buyers came in.

These were quick and cute, from John Stamos and his devil's threesome to a modern day Dharma and Greg talking divorce. The latter was an adorable nod to Lorre's past sitcom and it put a smile on my face.

Really, the show seemed like Jon Cryer and the rest of his supporting cast could have carried things without Sheen. But Chuck Lorre and company, or more likely executives at CBS, did not have faith in their existing cast, so they had to bring on the gimmick that was Mr. Ashton Kutcher.

Enter Walden Schmdt and his hung-like-a-horse tall, good-looking, rich and supposedly smart self. So, was it "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt?"

Clearly, the shows tried to build Walden in with some sympathy by introducing him as a shell of a man after his wife left him. And all it was going to take was a threesome to bring our man back and we would all be built up with him, right?

Well, unfortunately between Kutcher's terrible acting and a horribly written character, it all just felt awkward. Was Walden supposed to be bright like his character and wealth indicated?  Because all I saw was the trait that has permeated every character Kutcher has ever played: stupidity. However, unlike his lovable, iconic Kelso, there wasn't even charm. There was just... dumb luck.

I'm giving the show an appropriate 2.5 stars. Not just because of the title, but because it was pretty much half of our maximum rating. But then there had to be a second half.

Obviously, like everyone else, I'll probably give it one more week. Past that, though? 2 Broke Girls seems like much better sitcom filler to me.


Editor Rating: 2.5 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 2.0 / 5.0 (1969 Votes)

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.


I didn't watch the show with Charlie Sheen, but was looking forward to Ashton K. Very disappointing. The writers blew it. Prime time TV does not need naked men walking around, nor does it need two naked men sleeping together. This is funny? If he had played a straighter role as a wealthy, separated male, it could have been written with a much better story line than they're using. How could this pass editing? Yikes.


So disappointed....2 1/2 went from one of my favorite shows to one I just will never watch again. In all fairness, I gave the show the first two episodes to win me over but yikes!! this is just horrible dribble.


yo Schmuck Lorre , the funniest thing about 2.5 now is , you could sell off charlie as being eaten be a purple and yellow dinasaur, the dinasaur being abducted by aliens and charlie being crapped out and returned to his appartment in a pooper scooper and we all as viewers could and would happily live with that ,,, just to get rid of ashton kutchner and this B.S. version of 2.5,,, 2.5 = #LOOSING


I am going out and buy all the old shows on DVD I can find.. Then I will watch a rerun everytime you put the Bearded Bozo in Charlies House. I would bet your writers will have a bedroom scene with Rose and Ashton.. What else can be more boring


chuck Lorre u suck! U have ruined the best show on tv! Beg Charlie to come back for all of our sakes!!


Putting Ashton Kutcher in place of Charlie Sheen is like putting Pee Wee Herman in for John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. Big Mistake I think!! Unless they bring Charlie back this show is doomed.


Omg, shows sucks now. That is the best actor u could get to replace a legend. Really. Lost yet another fan and viewer.


Ashton's character needs to be run over by a train. I will try to watch the third episode and, if it isn't funnier than the last one, it's bye bye Berta and the rest of the cast.


Something is missing...bring Charlie back. Will not be watching until Charlie returns!


The chemistry is gone and the current story line is just stupid. Ashton's wife...huh? Should've gotten Jeremy Piven (another type of man whore) who could have been a cousin (like the son of the mothers brother)kicked out by his wife and needed a place to stay. The rest could have been Ari Goldisms and hot stars/starlets needing his career promotion passing in and out of the house. You could still have the family type chemistry (the mothers brother could be as bad as the mother or worse) and the keep the 2 main characters joking about their parents. Anything is better than where this currently seems to be going. Good Luck!

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Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 Quotes

Just like old times. I'm talking and you're in a bottle ignoring me.

Alan [to urn]

Walden: Trust me, money doesn't buy happiness.
Alan: I wouldn't know, I've never had either.