Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan, I'm trying to sell a house here. Warm cookies smell, good. Hot poop smell, bad

Evelyn

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Evelyn Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 4 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 4 Quotes

Alan: I was on a date with Melissa
Charlie: How'd it go?
Alan: She broke up with me and I may have to register as a sex offender
Charlie: So at least you had fun

Charlie [about Chelsea and Jake]: ...and one of you has to go, guess who that will be?
Jake: Why, because you sleep with her?
Charlie: Good for you, why do people think you're stupid?