Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The-simpsons

Bart: Are they robots?
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep: No, robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona State.
Pharmaceutical Exec: I scoop them up by the Sorority.
Nerd: This is the nerd fraternity!
Pharmaceutical Exec: Drop them off in research.

Nelson: Did you find any gold?
Bart: Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards.
Nelson: Bart, this is fool's porn, I'll take it off your hands.

I just have one question about hair, where does mine start?

Bart: Can I betray the country I pledge allegiance to every day?
CIA Guy #1: You pledge allegiance to the flag.
CIA Guy #2: And the flag is made in China.

Bart: Those are girl overalls!
Milhouse: I could pull it off.

Oh my god I think I just met the thing I'm going to die on.

I see how it is. You get a booty calla and I get a cootie call.

Bart: I'll buy the white wine.
Marge: You can't buy white wine!
Bart: Why not? Are you having red meat?

Marge: (to Homer) We have to take in Mr. Brockman. He wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dumped coffee on his lap.
Homer: Oh, sure! Put down a simple guy like me who works hard and plays by the rules!
Bart: Dad, you barely go to work at all.
Lisa: And you're constantly flouting the law.
Homer: I'm willing to change my mind and that makes me great.

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uhh, I'm Ahmed Adoodie.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
Chloe O' Brian: Ahmed Adoodie, wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack. It's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!

I've got a man down! Well, not a man, a very special boy.

</i> Bart

Son of a beachball, they escaped.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 702 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
x Close Ad