The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Lisa: You're gonna regret the day you were born.
Bart: I already do, it's too close to Christmas.

Only you can make tree poop boring.

Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?

Bart: Are they robots?
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep: No, robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona State.
Pharmaceutical Exec: I scoop them up by the Sorority.
Nerd: This is the nerd fraternity!
Pharmaceutical Exec: Drop them off in research.

Nelson: Did you find any gold?
Bart: Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards.
Nelson: Bart, this is fool's porn, I'll take it off your hands.

I just have one question about hair, where does mine start?

Bart: Can I betray the country I pledge allegiance to every day?
CIA Guy #1: You pledge allegiance to the flag.
CIA Guy #2: And the flag is made in China.

Bart: Those are girl overalls!
Milhouse: I could pull it off.

Oh my god I think I just met the thing I'm going to die on.

I see how it is. You get a booty calla and I get a cootie call.

Bart: I'll buy the white wine.
Marge: You can't buy white wine!
Bart: Why not? Are you having red meat?

Marge: (to Homer) We have to take in Mr. Brockman. He wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dumped coffee on his lap.
Homer: Oh, sure! Put down a simple guy like me who works hard and plays by the rules!
Bart: Dad, you barely go to work at all.
Lisa: And you're constantly flouting the law.
Homer: I'm willing to change my mind and that makes me great.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 705 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!