The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

It's one of those unsolved mysteries, like how do my clothes get cleaned and get back in my dresser?

Lisa: You're gonna regret the day you were born.
Bart: I already do, it's too close to Christmas.

Only you can make tree poop boring.

Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?

Bart: Are they robots?
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep: No, robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona State.
Pharmaceutical Exec: I scoop them up by the Sorority.
Nerd: This is the nerd fraternity!
Pharmaceutical Exec: Drop them off in research.

Nelson: Did you find any gold?
Bart: Even better, the prospectors left naughty French postcards.
Nelson: Bart, this is fool's porn, I'll take it off your hands.

I just have one question about hair, where does mine start?

Bart: Can I betray the country I pledge allegiance to every day?
CIA Guy #1: You pledge allegiance to the flag.
CIA Guy #2: And the flag is made in China.

Bart: Those are girl overalls!
Milhouse: I could pull it off.

Oh my god I think I just met the thing I'm going to die on.

I see how it is. You get a booty calla and I get a cootie call.

Bart: I'll buy the white wine.
Marge: You can't buy white wine!
Bart: Why not? Are you having red meat?

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 706 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!