Well, hearing you bitch about your dad is super interesting, Stan. I hope you do it all lunch period.

Cartman (as The Coon): I'm making the world a better place.
Kenny (as Mysterion): For you! A better place for you!
Cartman (as The Coon): That's what superheroes do!

Even Cthulhu knows what evil assholes Stan and Kyle and those guys are and that they are m, uncaring vagina-faces.

Cartman (as The Coon)

Should I admit I was wrong, ask for everyone's forgiveness and go back to my original team? Nah, screw that, I'm just gonna keep being a dick.

Cartman (as Coon)

You can't kick me out of Coon & Friends, I'm the f**cking Coon!

All Coon friends report to base. I'm so seriously.

When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

You're a Ginger, a Jew and from Jersey. Three strikes, Kyle, you're out!

Cartman: You know what you want to do if you want a family to move away? Every night you take a crap on their doorstep.
Kyle: Is that why there's crap on my doorstep every morning?
Cartman: Oops. Busted.

I'm gonna do some dip and speak my mind!

I wasn't born with a plastic spoon in my mouth!

I need to get stupid, Butters. I'm getting all the blood to rush to my head and watching a marathon of Two and a Half Men.

South Park Quotes

Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing

Cock magic isn’t an Asian thing or a Mexican thing. White people do it, too, if they’re poor enough.