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Liane: Sweetie, your friends are downstairs. They need to see you.
Cartman: Not now Mom, I've only unloaded three feti. I've gotta sell the rest before they spoil.
- Permalink: Sweetie, your friends are downstairs. They need to see you. No...
Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
- Permalink: I'll make you eat your parents. What did you say? Nothing
Stan: Just because we rip on you for being rich doesn't mean we don't like you.
Kyle: Yeah we're guys dude; we find something about all our friends to rip on. We make fun of you for being rich like we rip on Butters for acting wimpy.
Butters: They sure do.
Stan: Yeah and like we rip on Kyle for being a Jew.
Kyle: And Stan for being in love with Wendy.
Stan: Yeah I get it for that.
Kyle: And Cartman for being fat.
Cartman: Uh huh.
Kyle: And Cartman for being stupid.
Kyle: And Cartman for having a whore for a mom.
Kyle: And Cartman for being a sadistic asshole.
Cartman: Ay!! You did me already.
Token: You're right guys, for now on I'm find for being made fun of for being rich.
Stan: Oh we're not going to rip on you for being rich anymore.
Token: You're not?
Kyle: No dude, since you got your feelings so hurt for being ripped on, now we think you're a pussy.
Stan: Yeah now you're a pussy, pussaholic.
Kyle: Come on nurse Token we're going to play football ya puss.
Butters: Yeah what a pussy.
Craig: Yeah that guy's a pussy.
- Permalink: Just because we rip on you for being rich doesn't mean we don't ...
Kyle: You especially can't say anything about Jews.
Cartman: Oh Jesus why don't you just cut off my balls!?
- Permalink: You especially can't say anything about Jews. Oh Jesus why don...
Kyle: How far do you think it is to Connecticut?
Stan: At least a couple hours.
Kyle: Do you think he'll be okay?
Cartman (walking off): He's fine!
- Permalink: How far do you think it is to Connecticut? At least a couple h...
Ms. Choksondik: [to Kyle's cousin, Kyle] Now Kyle, I need you to be quiet. In my class you need to be able to concentrate. Concentration is the key to succeeding in my class.
Cartman: Maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp. [remembers Kyle's deal] Aww. Damnit, damnit, damnit!
- Permalink: Now Kyle, I need you to be quiet. In my class you need to be abl...
(When Cartman shows everyone Kenny's picture)
Cartman: Dude, check it out! It's the sweetest thing I've ever done!
Kenny: (muffled) YOU'VE ever done?
- Permalink: Dude, check it out! It's the sweetest thing I've ever done! Y...
Mr. Mackey: Well, what did you used to think was funny?
Cartman: You know, all the usual stuff. Dirty jokes, funny movies, seeing someone die. This morning, I even saw a little girl get her fingers caught in a car door and I couldn't laugh. I mean I, I knew it was funny, but I couldn't laugh.
- Permalink: Well, what did you used to think was funny? You know, all th...
Yeah well I guess now we'll have to call him Ben Ass-fleck.
- Permalink: Yeah well I guess now we'll have to call him Ben Ass-fleck.
(Cartman is in the movies after losing his sense of humor)
Guy 1: Dude, why are you wearing Shilaynas' panties?
Guy 2: I had to wear Shilaynas' panties, Lisa's were in the wash.
Guy 1: Look can we just get this over with?
Guy 2: But dude I can't french kiss him, he's my Grandpa.
Guy 1: Come on dude.
Guy 2: Oh alright here it goes, come here Grandpa
(Crowd laughs and cheers except for Cartman)
Cartman: Aw, dude! Bah.
Audience member: Dude, what's wrong with you?
Cartman: Nothing's wrong with me!
Guy 2: Well I'm glad that's over with. We better go back to the house now to see how Chris is doing.
- Permalink: Dude, why are you wearing Shilaynas' panties? I had to wear ...
Cartman:Whatever. All I know is that I can laugh again, I'm gonna go home and eat another chocolate gun, come on Kenny!
(A motorbike runs over Kenny)
- Permalink: Whatever. All I know is that I can laugh again, I'm gonna go hom...
Cartman: Hey, look! An infidel!
(Osama Bin Laden looks the other way as Cartman pantses him. Then, there are many magnifying glasses from off screen placed in front of his crotch and sign pops up from off screen reading "Tiny, ain't it?!".)
Cartman: (after Osama pulls his pants up) So THAT'S what this is all about...
- Permalink: Hey, look! An infidel! So THAT'S what this is all about...