Eric Cartman Quotes
I'd scarf down a whole wet bucket full of shit before I ate another plate of meecrob.
- Permalink: I'd scarf down a whole wet bucket full of s**t before I ate anot...
Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks that "shit" might have something to do with everyone getting sick.
- Permalink: Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks that s**t might have somethin...
Chef: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a nice white woman to make love to.
Stan: Yeah, and Kenny didn't die!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah, and I didn't die- (pukes out his intestines and dies)
Stan: Holy sh- I mean, poop.
Kyle: Yeah. Poop.
Cartman: I love you guys...
- Permalink: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a ni...
Cartman: You guys, look here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe. This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina!
Kyle: Cartman, this is serious!
Cartman: So am I, Kyle. If that sand in your vagina doesn't get released, you could become a walking time bomb.
- Permalink: You guys, look here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy goes to t...
Cartman: Don't mind Kyle, everyone. He's just got a little sand in his vagina.
Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!!
Ms. Choksondik: Boys, watch your language! Shit!
- Permalink: Don't mind Kyle, everyone. He's just got a little sand in his va...
Kyle: Dude! They're gonna say "shit" on television??
Stan: You can't say "shit" on television!
Cartman: It was just on the news! People are freaking out, dude.
Stan: Holy ****ing shit!
- Permalink: Dude! They're gonna say s**t on television?? You can't say s**...
Cartman: You guys! You guys! Oh my god! Oh my god, you guys!
Kyle: What, doughboy?
Cartman: I was... (catches breath) I was just watching the TV and they had this commercial.
Cartman: So... Guess what they're gonna say tonight on that show "Cop Drama"?
Cartman: No, c'mon, guess! They're gonna say something that's never been said on television!
Kyle: Goddamit, Cartman! What are they gonna say on "Cop Drama"?
Cartman: Okay, you ready? Tonight...on "Cop Drama"...on TV,...they're gonna say... (looks to the left and right) "shit".
- Permalink: You guys! You guys! Oh my god! Oh my god, you guys! What, doug...
Stan: I can't belive they actually said it...
Cartman: Dude, you missed it, Kyle! It was so awesome!
Kyle: (sarcastically) Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype. You must feel so much better now.
Cartman: Kyle, you've got to get that sand out of your vagina; it's making you cranky. Does it itch?
Kyle: Do you really think anything's gonna be any different now? Do you really think that this will have the tiniest smallest effect on the world? It's still the same old world out there. Look! (opens door and the boys see frogs falling from the sky)
Kyle: What the hell...?
Cartman: Whoa, dude. It's raining frogs...
Kyle: (walks away) Oh, whatever!
- Permalink: I can't belive they actually said it... Dude, you missed it, K...
Stan: Wow, your dad's a perv and your mom tried to kill you.
Butters: Yeah, you guys sure are gonna rip on me at school.
Cartman: We sure are.
Butters: Yeah, but as soon as we get to Bennigan's and I get my mozzarella burger I'll forget all about my dad being queer and my mom trying to kill me.
Butters: No, I'm lying.
- Permalink: Wow, your dad's a perv and your mom tried to kill you. Yeah, y...