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(about Afghanistan) God, what a craphole, dude! This is like East Denver! Jesus Christ!
- Permalink: God, what a craphole, dude! This is like East Denver! Jesus Chri...
(about Afghanistan) What is this? The freakin' Flintstones?
- Permalink: What is this? The freakin' Flintstones?
Cartman: I told you Jawas have no hearts.
Cartman: You know, Sand People.
- Permalink: I told you Jawas have no hearts. Jawas? You know, Sand Peopl...
Cartman: Hey, look! An infidel!
(Osama Bin Laden looks the other way as Cartman pantses him. Then, there are many magnifying glasses from off screen placed in front of his crotch and sign pops up from off screen reading "Tiny, ain't it?!".)
Cartman: (after Osama pulls his pants up) So THAT'S what this is all about...
- Permalink: Hey, look! An infidel! So THAT'S what this is all about...
It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't say here or else it will choke on the sweet air of freedom.
- Permalink: It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't say here or else it will c...
Kyle: Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be in the military base; they might shoot us.
Stan: I don't care; we're going!
Towelie: (appearing in front of the boys) Don't forget to bring a towel!
(Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny groan.)
Cartman: Oh, no. Not Towelie...
Towelie: When going some place new, you should always bring a towel!
Stan: Okay. Thanks, Towelie.
Towelie: You wanna get high?
Cartman: No, we don't wanna get high!
Towelie: So... You mean you don't like having Towelie around?
Cartman: That's right!
Towelie: So am I to understand there's been a..."Towelie ban"?
(Towelie laughs and the boys groan loudly.)
Stan: Goddamnit, get the hell out of here, Towelie!
Towelie: (leaving) Alright, see ya!
- Permalink: Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be in the military base; t...
Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, now I've sure you already know, but the president has asked that all American children send one dollar to the children of Afghanistan. Now I've got a list of addresses and we're all going to chip in...
Cartman: Ha! I'm not giving a dollar to those towel-heads!
Ms. Choksondik: Eric, the Afghan people need our help!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought we're at war with these assholes!
Wendy: We're at war with terrorists, fat-ass, not with Afghanistan! And the reason you'd care is so you don't give them a dollar!
Cartman: (stands up) That dollar buys me a chocolate milk for lunch! What, you want me to get a regular milk for 50 cents?? Now look... It's not our fault that terrorists hate us; we're just kids. We're not the one's dropping bombs on them; we're just caught in the middle. It's not our fault.
Wendy: The Afghan people are caught in the middle, too.
Cartman: Yes, but they're sand-monkeys!
Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, settle down! We're all sending dollars to the children of Afghanistan, that's it, end of discussion!
Cartman: (sits down) GODDAMMIT, I HATE REGULAR MILK!!!
- Permalink: Alright, children, now I've sure you already know, but the presi...
(Kyle tries to convince the Afghani people that they are not American)
Kyle: Greetings from Canada. Well boys, it's aboot time we get to our hoose in Canada, isn't it?
Cartman: Ey, what the hell are you talking about? I'm not a God damn Canadian, and neither are you!
Stan: Cartman, you stupid asshole!
- Permalink: Greetings from Canada. Well boys, it's aboot time we get to our ...
Eh What's up, Bin Laden?
- Permalink: Eh What's up, Bin Laden?
Kyle: Remember when life used to be simple and cool?
Cartman: Not really.
Butters: (walks to the bus stop) Uh, hey. How's it going fellas?
Stan: Butters! What the hell do you think you're doing??
Butters: Well, I'm just standing around being a kid, why? How come you're wearing them oogy spaceman masks?
Kyle: These are gas masks, Butters!
Stan: Yeah, if you don't wear a gas mask, you'll be easily exposed to smallpox or anthrax!
Butters: What?! Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna get the 'thrax, fellas! W-what do I do??
Stan: There's nothing you can doexcept stop breathing.
Butters: Stop breathing??
Kyle: Yeah, you can't get it if you don't breath.
Butters: Oh, all right, then! (inhales deeply and holds breath)
- Permalink: Remember when life used to be simple and cool? Not really. ...
Pilot: (After noticing the boys came out from the hatch) What the hell?
Kyle: Cartman farted in there. We have to breath it in for 20 hours!
Cartman: It didn't smell that bad. You guys are overreacting.
Pilot: I don't smell any...(the pilot inhales, then pukes twice and faints)
Cartman: Oh, whatever!
Kyle: You son of a bith, Cartman. You don't farted when you're locked in a small space with other people!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry! Next time I ask my fart nicely if it wouldn't mind staying tucked away for a while!
- Permalink: What the hell? Cartman farted in there. We have to breath it i...
Kyle: (after Stan puts up the miniature flag) Dude, I thought those Afghani kids talked to us about not liking America...
Stan: No, dude. America might have some problems, but it's our home. Our country. Our team. And if you don't want to root for your team, then just get the hell out of the stadium.
Stan: Go America. Go Broncos.
Kyle: Yeah, go Broncos.
- Permalink: Dude, I thought those Afghani kids talked to us about not liking...