(at the spelling bee) Kyle, Kyle, he's our man, if he can't do it I'm out 50 bucks.

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Jimbo: (Spying on the Klan) Alright. Let's sneak in quietly.
Ned: Okay.
Jimbo: Dammit Ned, doesn't that thing have a volume control?
Ned: No.

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Jimbo: Chef, what about the baseball team, the Cleveland Indians, huh? Should they change their name because it's racist?
Chef: Yeah!
Jimbo: No!

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People are gonna' start saying that the Denver Broncos are offensive to horses and then we'll have to SQUIRREL! (shoots down squirrel) Then we'll have to change everything.

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This is about history kids. If you don't have respect for your past then you can never expect...BIRD! (shoots down bird) Then you can never expect to have a future.

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Mayor McDaniels: (to Jimbo and Chef) Gentlemen, I understand you are here to present both sides of an issue. I want to hear you both out and do this in a civil and constructive manner, so I can give you both the time and attention you deserve. Jimbo why don't you begin.
Jimbo: Mayor, it's about the South Park flag
Mayor McDaniels: Oh Jesus Christ, not this again.

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Jimbo: Wow, those are greatNed, are you jackin' it?!
Ned: Kinda.
(Mr. Tenorman comes outside)
Mr. Tenorman: Who's out there?
Jimbo: (whispering) Dammit Ned, stop jackin' it.
Ned: I can't.

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Jimbo: What's a 'Radiohead?'
Cartman: You know, that band that sings that song (sings) 'Well, I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo...'

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Eric! Are you training that pony to please you?!

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Well, son, I think you've got a pretty stupid plan there.

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Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares.
Guys: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park.
Randy Marsh: Yeah, you'll become what you hate.
Mr. Garrison:........Yeah but at least I got rid of all those damn ni[South Park ending theme]

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How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They can hire someone to screw it in for them!

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