Kyle Broflovski Quotes
Listen guys, I appreciate you wanting me around but the fact of the matter is You guys are just kinda douche-bags.Kyle's Cousin Kyle (<i>to Kyle, Cartman, and Stan</i>)
- Permalink: Listen guys, I appreciate you wanting me around but the fact of ...
Kyle: This is taking too long. The flight to Connecticut is gonna leave. Hey can we speed things up here?!
Airport Inspector: Err sorry but ever since that IT thing came out Airline had to cut back on employees.
Kyle: Dude we're the only ones here. How long does it take 5 people to get through security?
Airport Inspector: Derr let's see, 4 people plus times divided Two hours domestic three hours international.
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Can't we just play hide and seek at home?
Airport Inspector (finds something in Kenny's pockets): Aha! What's this a toenail clipper! Die terrorist!!
(shoots Kenny in the head)
- Permalink: This is taking too long. The flight to Connecticut is gonna leav...
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: I gotta get back to Connecticut.
Sheila: Now that things have changed for Kyle, his mother needs him back.
Kyle: Do you promise! I mean oh That's too bad dude What changed for you?
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Well I invested in that IT thing and there was a bailout so I received a 5 million dollar bailout cross-cheque which I can use to help my family so I guess good-bye, cousin.
Kyle: See ya cousin, hope to see you soon. (whispers)Not too soon I hope.
(The boys all snicker)
(After a few seconds)The Boys (in unison): 5 MILLION DOLLARS?!
- Permalink: I gotta get back to Connecticut. Now that things have changed ...
Kyle: (about Butters) Dude, that poor kid.
Clyde: Yeah, we got to remember to kick his ass tomorrow.
- Permalink: Dude, that poor kid. Yeah, we got to remember to kick his ass...
Pilot: (After noticing the boys came out from the hatch) What the hell?
Kyle: Cartman farted in there. We have to breath it in for 20 hours!
Cartman: It didn't smell that bad. You guys are overreacting.
Pilot: I don't smell any...(the pilot inhales, then pukes twice and faints)
Cartman: Oh, whatever!
Kyle: You son of a bith, Cartman. You don't farted when you're locked in a small space with other people!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry! Next time I ask my fart nicely if it wouldn't mind staying tucked away for a while!
- Permalink: What the hell? Cartman farted in there. We have to breath it i...
Kyle: Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be in the military base; they might shoot us.
Stan: I don't care; we're going!
Towelie: (appearing in front of the boys) Don't forget to bring a towel!
(Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny groan.)
Cartman: Oh, no. Not Towelie...
Towelie: When going some place new, you should always bring a towel!
Stan: Okay. Thanks, Towelie.
Towelie: You wanna get high?
Cartman: No, we don't wanna get high!
Towelie: So... You mean you don't like having Towelie around?
Cartman: That's right!
Towelie: So am I to understand there's been a..."Towelie ban"?
(Towelie laughs and the boys groan loudly.)
Stan: Goddamnit, get the hell out of here, Towelie!
Towelie: (leaving) Alright, see ya!
- Permalink: Stan, I don't think we're supposed to be in the military base; t...
(Kyle tries to convince the Afghani people that they are not American)
Kyle: Greetings from Canada. Well boys, it's aboot time we get to our hoose in Canada, isn't it?
Cartman: Ey, what the hell are you talking about? I'm not a God damn Canadian, and neither are you!
Stan: Cartman, you stupid asshole!
- Permalink: Greetings from Canada. Well boys, it's aboot time we get to our ...
Kyle: (after Stan puts up the miniature flag) Dude, I thought those Afghani kids talked to us about not liking America...
Stan: No, dude. America might have some problems, but it's our home. Our country. Our team. And if you don't want to root for your team, then just get the hell out of the stadium.
Stan: Go America. Go Broncos.
Kyle: Yeah, go Broncos.
- Permalink: Dude, I thought those Afghani kids talked to us about not liking...
Kyle: Remember when life used to be simple and cool?
Cartman: Not really.
Butters: (walks to the bus stop) Uh, hey. How's it going fellas?
Stan: Butters! What the hell do you think you're doing??
Butters: Well, I'm just standing around being a kid, why? How come you're wearing them oogy spaceman masks?
Kyle: These are gas masks, Butters!
Stan: Yeah, if you don't wear a gas mask, you'll be easily exposed to smallpox or anthrax!
Butters: What?! Oh, Jesus! I don't wanna get the 'thrax, fellas! W-what do I do??
Stan: There's nothing you can doexcept stop breathing.
Butters: Stop breathing??
Kyle: Yeah, you can't get it if you don't breath.
Butters: Oh, all right, then! (inhales deeply and holds breath)
- Permalink: Remember when life used to be simple and cool? Not really. ...