South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park

Kyle: He's gonna be here any minute, Ike.
Ike: Oooh nooo, poopies.
Kyle: He might not come if you're too close to the toilet bowl, Ike.

(while making the Christmas Card)
Kyle: Ok. 'woo' mouths again...
Stan: (clicks camera) one. two.
Kyle: So how much done is that?
Stan: "We wish you a m-merry..."
Kyle: Jesus Christ.

Kyle: What's "bad touch?"
Cartman: Something bout a swimsuit, I don't remember, but you definitely answer bad touch!

You got "Raging Pussies" tickets!?!

(singing) If I had one wish it'd for Cuba to change,
cause I think that all the Cubans are in pain.
All the joy in the world, from sea to shining sea,
doesn't mean a thing, if Cubans aren't free.
I just can't be very happy, that's certain,
not as long as you Cubans are hurtin',
Oh won't you search your soul and find a way to change your mind.
That is my one and only wish...

Sheila: Alright, fine Kyle, you can go to the Raging Pussies concert if you clean out the garage, shovel the driveway and bring democracy to Cuba.
Kyle: What's Cuba?
Gerald: A communist country run by a dictator named Fidel Castro.
Kyle: And do I have to shovel the whole driveway or just the side the car's on?
Sheila: The whole thing.
Kyle: Ah jeez.

Kyle: My parents said I can't go.
Stan: Well of course your parents said you can't go.
Cartman: Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! I'm telling my parents that I'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah!
Kyle: Oh, well now I already told them.
Cartman: Well I guess you're screwed then.

Stan: Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?
Cartman: No dickhole! 4 tickets, 28th row for the "Raging Pussies."

Police Lady: They'll never be able to hurt you again.
Kyle: Cool thanks.

Kyle: Dude, I don't know if I'm going to like the new Eric Cartman.
Stan: Did you like the old one?
Kyle: Good point.

Stan: (after the fake Kenny suffocates in Miss Crabtree's uterus) Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Sort of.
Kyle: Yeah! They killed Kenny... 's look-alike. You bastards!

Cartman: Kyle, why do you do these things to me?
Kyle: I didn't do anything to you; Timmy saw the turkey and wanted to get it, what did you want me to say to him?
Cartman: You say: "NO TIMMY, YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT TURKEY! BAD TIMMY!"

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 322 in total

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman
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