South Park

Kyle Broflovski Quotes (Page 8)

Cartman: Blainetology is for everyone. There are Blainetologists who are Catholics, Buddhists... Why even Kyle here is a God damn Jew.
Kyle: That's right.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Thanks for saving us, Stan. You're my super best friend.
Stan: Your my super best friend too, Kyle.
Cartman: Oh, that's so sweet you guys! You want to go get a room so you can make out for a while?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

[all the boys, except Cartman, look the same with the same clothes and no hair]
Stan: Kyle, I'm starting to think that this is a really bad idea.
Butters: I'm not Kyle, I'm Butters. I thought you were Kyle.
Stan: No, I'm Stan.
Kyle: You're Stan? Where's Kenny?
Stan: Who are you?
Kyle: I'm Kyle.
Cartman: Hehe, guess who I am, guys?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Alright Brother Kyle, it is time for us to die.
Kyle: Cartman we've been brain washed don't you see? We don't have to do this!
Cartman: But it's the only way for us to be happy.
Kyle: Cartman, no!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Stan trying to convince Kyle to leave with him)
Kyle: I'm not going anywhere.
Stan: Goddamnit I'm not going with you, I wanna stay here.
Kyle: Huh? I thought you wanted to leave.
Stan: Oh wait who am I again?
Kyle: You're Stan.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: (whispering) Cartman. Cartman, wake up. Cartman.
Cartman: (wakes up abruptly, knocking Kyle off his bed) No, Paula Poundstone! Leave me alone! Uh! Uh?
Kyle: It's just me.
Cartman: (Cartman realizes he's at the camp with Kyle and sighs) Brother Kyle? Why do you disturb my rest?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, in lieu of the common usage, I'm supposed to clarify the school's position on the word, "s**t."
Stan: Wow! We can say "s**t" in school now?
Kyle: This is ridiculous! Just because they say it on TV it's alright.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chef: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a nice white woman to make love to.
Stan: Yeah, and Kenny didn't die!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah, and I didn't die- (pukes out his intestines and dies)
Stan: Holy sh- I mean, poop.
Kyle: Yeah. Poop.
Cartman: I love you guys...
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: You guys, look here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe. This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina!
Kyle: Cartman, this is serious!
Cartman: So am I, Kyle. If that sand in your vagina doesn't get released, you could become a walking time bomb.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Chef, do you know where "s**t" comes from?
Chef: Uh, from your ass, children.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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