South Park

Kyle Broflovski Quotes (Page 9)

Cartman: Don't mind Kyle, everyone. He's just got a little sand in his vagina.
Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!!
Ms. Choksondik: Boys, watch your language! Shit!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: Dude! They're gonna say "s**t" on television??
Stan: You can't say "s**t" on television!
Cartman: It was just on the news! People are freaking out, dude.
Stan: Holy ****ing s**t!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: You guys! You guys! Oh my god! Oh my god, you guys!
Kyle: What, doughboy?
Cartman: I was... (catches breath) I was just watching the TV and they had this commercial.
Stan: So?
Cartman: So... Guess what they're gonna say tonight on that show "Cop Drama"?
Kyle: What?
Cartman: No, c'mon, guess! They're gonna say something that's never been said on television!
Stan: What?
Cartman: Guess.
Kyle: Goddamit, Cartman! What are they gonna say on "Cop Drama"?
Cartman: Okay, you ready? Tonight...on "Cop Drama"...on TV,...they're gonna say... (looks to the left and right) "s**t".
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: I can't belive they actually said it...
Cartman: Dude, you missed it, Kyle! It was so awesome!
Kyle: (sarcastically) Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype. You must feel so much better now.
Cartman: Kyle, you've got to get that sand out of your vagina; it's making you cranky. Does it itch?
Kyle: Do you really think anything's gonna be any different now? Do you really think that this will have the tiniest smallest effect on the world? It's still the same old world out there. Look! (opens door and the boys see frogs falling from the sky)
Kyle: What the hell...?
Cartman: Whoa, dude. It's raining frogs...
Kyle: (walks away) Oh, whatever!
 • Rating: Unrated

(while making the Christmas Card)
Kyle: Ok. 'woo' mouths again...
Stan: (clicks camera) one. two.
Kyle: So how much done is that?
Stan: "We wish you a m-merry..."
Kyle: Jesus Christ.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: He's gonna be here any minute, Ike.
Ike: Oooh nooo, poopies.
Kyle: He might not come if you're too close to the toilet bowl, Ike.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?
Cartman: No d**khole! 4 tickets, 28th row for the "Raging Pussies."
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: My parents said I can't go.
Stan: Well of course your parents said you can't go.
Cartman: Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! I'm telling my parents that I'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah!
Kyle: Oh, well now I already told them.
Cartman: Well I guess you're screwed then.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: (singing) If I had one wish it'd for Cuba to change,
cause I think that all the Cubans are in pain.
All the joy in the world, from sea to shining sea,
doesn't mean a thing, if Cubans aren't free.
I just can't be very happy, that's certain,
not as long as you Cubans are hurtin',
Oh won't you search your soul and find a way to change your mind.
That is my one and only wish...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: What's "bad touch?"
Cartman: Something bout a swimsuit, I don't remember, but you definitely answer bad touch!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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