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Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?
- Permalink: I bet you don't even know what first name is! I don't know......
Meg: It's not something you learn, it's something that's inside of you, like the ability to choose to be gay.
Chris: I don't think they choose that...
Meg: Oh trust me, they choose that.
- Permalink: It's not something you learn, it's something that's inside of yo...
Brian: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbital propulsion mechanisms that NASA is using for the next generation of space shuttles.
Chris and Meg: Oooohhhhhh... Aaaaahhhh!
Peter: So, Lauren, um, whenever I'm watchin' your show... you give me wood. Where do we go from here?
- Permalink: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbita...
Slug/Meg: How come I never have any lines in these things?
Han/Peter: Shut up, Meg.
- Permalink: How come I never have any lines in these things? Shut up, Meg...
Meg: I like the outfit you have on
Ida: Thank you, Meg. Who did your procedure.
Meg: Wow, you just burned your last friend in this room, lady.
- Permalink: I like the outfit you have on Thank you, Meg. Who did your pr...
Peter: So... question. How long has Stewie been unconcious?
Meg: Oh my god, Chris, he knows. Dad, I'm so sorry we should have told someone but we were too scared. I wanted to take him to the hospital, but Chris wouldn't let me.
Peter: Good Chris. I've taught you well. You have the right instincts. When you were babies, I used to knock you kids out every month or so. Some times by accident. Sometimes when the Patriots lost. You just gotta cover it up and everything works it self out. Meg, this is a list of hats. I need these by 4 o'clock.
- Permalink: So... question. How long has Stewie been unconcious? Oh my go...
Meg: I wanna be a veterinarian when I grow up!
Peter: Meg, we've been over this. You're going to gain 150lbs., and write Ugly Betty fan-fiction.
Meg: But Daaaaaaaad!
Peter: Meg, that's final.
- Permalink: I wanna be a veterinarian when I grow up! Meg, we've been over...
Meg: No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for you.
Herbert: Well, no offense to you Meg, but you're a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for YOU.
- Permalink: No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and ...
Meg: Wait a minute. Chris are you clapping?
Lois: So your hands are free.
Lois: Stewie didn't tie up your hands.
Chris: No he must've forgot.
Lois: You realize we've been sitting here for 14 hours.
Chris: Well get pissy if you want, Mom. I've enjoyed the time we've had as a family.
- Permalink: Wait a minute. Chris are you clapping? Yeah. So your hands a...
Judge: Mr. Foreman, how say you?
Foreman: We find Peter Griffin guilty of murder in the first degree.
Peter: Oh no!
Bruce: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Chris: Oh No!
Kool-Aid Guy: (Crashes through courtroom wall) Oh yeaaaah!
(slowly backs out)
Judge: Okay, can I ask everyone to please stop saying "Oh no" in this courtroom? Cause the f***ing Kool-Aid Guy's gonna keep showin' up. Thank you.
- Permalink: Mr. Foreman, how say you? We find Peter Griffin guilty of murd...
Lois: So Meg, any luck in finding another job?
Meg: No, hardly anybody is hiring right now. The only job I could find was for a phone sex line and I sucked at it.
(cuts to living room, Meg is on the couch talking on the phone)
Meg: What am I wearing? Um, a hat, and glasses. What kind of underwear? Um, I don't know, big underwear I guess. I'm sorry, what? Oh, what would I do to you? Well, um, I guess maybe we'd get pizza, and we could watch House?
(Cuts to Peter upstairs, also on the phone)
Peter: Alright, I am totally flaccid, but thank you anyway ma'am, I appreciate your time. (hangs up the phone)
- Permalink: So Meg, any luck in finding another job? No, hardly anybody is...
Carl: Hey, Meg.
Meg: Hey, Carl.
Carl: Why are you always here by yourself? Are you like a bitch or something?
- Permalink: Hey, Meg. Hey, Carl. Why are you always here by yourself? Ar...