Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!

(Connie opens closet door revealing Chris and Meg making out, the stop look out outside, and at each other.)
Meg: Chris?
Chris: Meg?
(they both back away from each other, screaming.)
Meg: OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Chris: TRYING GRAB SOME BOOBS!
Meg: FROM YOUR SISTER?
Chris: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Meg: WELL, WHO DID THINK IT WAS?
Chris: SOME BITCH, WHO CARES!
Meg: UHH...OH MY GOD! AND WE DID SO MUCH!
Chris: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Meg WE'RE DISGUSTING! WE'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!
(Bill Chilton, comes in in his tights)
Bill Chilton: Ahh.. maybe I can get on this.

Meg: Chris, look at what you did!
Chris: You mean look at what two black teenagers did when they stole Dad's bike...

Chris: Hey Meg! I'm going to jump that fire hydrant!
Meg: Chris don't! You're going to wreck Dad's bike!
Chris: Too late! I already narrowed my eyes!

Meg: We haven't made love in two weeks!
Joe: We haven't made love ever!

Meg: Sometimes, it's really hard being me. So I guess I just make "meganaid."
Joe: That sounds disgusting.

Meg [to Chris]: Yea Griffin! Your mom's gross and nasty!
Chris to Meg: Yea suck it! You're a whore daughter!

Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?

Meg: It's not something you learn, it's something that's inside of you, like the ability to choose to be gay.
Chris: I don't think they choose that...
Meg: Oh trust me, they choose that.

Brian: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbital propulsion mechanisms that NASA is using for the next generation of space shuttles.
Chris and Meg: Oooohhhhhh... Aaaaahhhh!
Peter: So, Lauren, um, whenever I'm watchin' your show... you give me wood. Where do we go from here?

Slug/Meg: How come I never have any lines in these things?
Han/Peter: Shut up, Meg.

Meg: I like the outfit you have on
Ida: Thank you, Meg. Who did your procedure.
Meg: Wow, you just burned your last friend in this room, lady.

Family Guy Quotes

(Stewie and Brian begin kissing in order to get thrown out of the Army)
Stewie: Wow, look at how gay we are! I am so gay with my gayness!
Brian: Me, too! I'm...I'm a homo.
Army Guy: Any room for one more?
Stewie: Hell yeah!
(Brian smacks Stewie)

No matter how low I turn the volume, Aziz Ansari is always shouting at me. What did I do?

Stewie