The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Principal Skinner Quotes
Good Lord! My Stormin' Norman commemorative plates stolen! Again
Bart: Where is Nelson?
Skinner: I'm sorry. Nelson never woke up.
Bart: What?!
Skinner: Never woke up because he never passed out -- he's right over there.
Principal Skinner: You're not supposed to be able to get outside our network.
Nelson: You shouldn't have made your password, "password".
Principal Skinner: It was the name of the street I grew up on, Password Drive.
Skinner: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible.
Superintendent Chalmers: Good seats still available and by that I mean seats in the back where you can fall asleep.
Principal Skinner: The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol.
Homer: How many grades does this school have!?
Ah, the fourth grade will now favor us with a melody...err...medley of holiday flavorites.
Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
Martin: And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is 'W-I-E-N-E-R', although 'E-I' is an acceptable ethnic variant.
(Principal Skinner tries to convince Marge and Homer to place Bart in the student exchange program.)
Principal Skinner: Actually, he'd be staying in France, in a lovely chateau in the heart of the wine country.
Marge: But Bart doesn't speak French.
Principal Skinner: Oh, when he's fully immersed in a foreign language, the average child can become fluent in weeks!
Homer: Yeah, but what about Bart?
Principal Skinner: I'm sure he'll pick up enough to get by.
(Principal Skinner pays a visit to the Simpson home.)
Marge: Homer, Principal Skinner is here.
Homer: Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. I'd get up, but the boy crippled me.
Skinner: Mm-hmm. I understand completely.
You may find his accent peculiar. Certain aspects of his culture may seem absurd, perhaps even offensive. But I urge you all to give little Adil the benefit of the doubt. In this way, and only this way, can we hope to better understand our backward neighbors throughout the world.
Principal Skinner
Principal Skinner: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick. I think it behooves us all to consider...deportation.
Marge: Deportation? You mean kick Bart out of the country?
Homer: Eh, hear him out, Marge.
Principal Skinner: Welcome to the first in a series of Saturday evening concerts.
Homer: Series? Awww.
