Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men

Jake: Hey, Dad, did you get Mom a present when you got divorced?
Alan: A present?
Jake: Yeah, a memento of your time together.
Alan: Jake, buddy, you're the memento of our time together.
Jake: So you're too cheap to get her earrings.
Alan: She did better than earrings. She got my family jewels.


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Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 5 Quotes

Alan: Money doesn't just fall from the sky.
Charlie: Obviously you've never been sitting ringside when a pole dancer hangs upside down.

God takes care of drunks and fools, and C. Roscoe Harper is both.

Berta
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